A Short History of the St. Patrick's Day Parade in the US

For as long as we can remember we've celebrated St. Patrick's Day with miles of green, shamrocks, leprechauns and crazy outfits. Some people even pollute their beer with green dye . 😑 No one really stops to think about why though.

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated all across the world on March 17th, but nowhere celebrates with more enthusiasm than the United States. Despite being one of the most celebrated days, it is not actually a "holiday" of any kind. It is not a recognized state or federal holiday. It is just something we do as a culture.

So where did so much enthusiasm come from? How did it pick up so much traction?

Well, the Irish were occupied by the British, but their oppression was more than just a conquering nation subjecting the people to their will. As a nation of protestants, the British punished the Irish with laws that didn't allow Catholics to own property or have any basic rights. This effectively kept Irish Catholics impoverished and under control. The Irish were exiled to various countries for even the smallest infractions.

After their arrival in the US their treatment was not much better. While the laws in the US did not keep the Irish from doing all the things they couldn't in their own country, it was the attitude of those surrounding them that continued to keep them on the outskirts.

So what does this have to do with St. Patrick's Day and parades? Well, the Irish are a hardy, resilient people and in the face of their adversity, they chose to celebrate their heritage, their ethnicity and a love of the country they were no longer in.

In 1737 the Charitable Irish Society was created by a group of Irishmen in Boston. According to Thoughtco.com it is considered legend that they also had a modest parade. The CIS is still a very active group! Here is part of their mission statement from their website.

"Since its founding in 1737, the mission of the Charitable Irish Society has been to provide aid and assistance to newly arrived Irish immigrants in the Boston area as they face the multiple challenges of adjusting to and assimilating into a new city and country – an issue as important today as it ever was!  Many individuals seeking assistance are referred to us by other organizations serving immigrants, including the Consulate General of Ireland, the Irish International Immigrant Center, and the Irish Pastoral Centre."

Twenty-five years later, the first known full-scale parade occurred in New York City. As more Irish immigrants continued to increase in the States, parades began to take place in cities all across the country. These parades reminded each other and themselves that they were worthy of being seen. They were not invisible people to be ignored. They deserved to be treated as humans. This became even more of a need as time went on and the Americans continued to treat the Irish as if they were less than. In 1854 the first ad appeared in the classified "No Irish Need Apply"(NYTimes). This phrase would soon become the employment refrain and no matter where the Irish went they couldn't find jobs. The only jobs were the lowest paying and the most dangerous. 

Why were the Irish despised so much? Because they were Catholic. The protestants believed that Catholocism was in direct conflict of what it is to be American (sound like a familiar refrain? It seems like the reasons just keep changing). They suffered a great deal at the hands of these Americans who saw them as a threat and blatantly denied them their rights as groups managed to get their Anti-Irish friends elected across the country. 

The parades allowed the Irish to cling to their identity, their history and their religion in a very public manner. As time went on and the Irish pushed forward, the parades grew and grew until they became a tradition. 

So where can you find the most epic parades? 

New York City (no surprise there!) Interestingly this parade has no floats or cars, but more than 100,000 participants that are all performers of one variety or another. 

Savannah, GA (When I found this out several years ago, I was surprised) "Although Savannah only has a population of 150,000, it has the second largest St. Patrick's Day parade behind New York City. In addition to the parade, this historic southern city also hosts a three-day long St. Patrick's Day festival. If you arrive in Savannah early, you can also check out the famous "Greening of the Fountain." In the week leading up to St. Patrick's Day, Savannah dyes all of its fountains green, starting with the famous Forsyth Park fountain. (Rand McNally). 

Chicago, IL: The third largest celebration in the country is known for using vegetable dye to make the river green!

Boston: Known as the hub of all things Irish, it is surprising that it comes in 4th on thos list! This one is a little bit more of an adult type celebration. There are definitely family friendly activities, but they are known for political roasts and pub crawls.

Find more about this list from the Rand McNally blog

Here in Rhode Island we do not celebrate for a day as they do in other places, bor do we celebrate for 3 days as Savannah does. We celebrate for an entire MONTH. There are 3 major parades in RI. 

Pawtucket is always the first weekend in March. The official kickoff of the season is at the Celtic for the Faces of Ireland.  This event is a fundraiser and chooses one female amd one male to represent an Irish pair in the parade. It's kind of like electing a royal couple like other parents amd parades do. 

A beloved and popular band, Derek Warfield and the Young Wolfetones (not to be confused with the famous band The Wolfetones) played at the Galway Bay Irish Pub. 

Then comes the Friday night Grand Marshall dinner where an influencer in the Irish community is honored. This happens Providence and Newport as well.

After the parade everyone goes to the Armory for music,  food and vendors with an amazing visit from the Rhode Island Pipes and Drums. 

After that everyone goes to their favorite celebration spot.

I will be honest. I don't know much about the parade days in Providence and Newport. Despite being in this state for 12.5 years I've only been to Providence once for St. Patrick's Day. 

If you want to attend these celebrations the one thing to remember is the Newport will always have the closest Sunday prior to March 17th and Providence gets the next one.

This year Pawtucket's parade is TODAY! Newport 3/14 and Providence on 3/21

So in remembrance of hwy we have this day to begin with please be kind to one another, be safe and have a great day! 

See you at the parade! It starts at noon in front of McCoy stadium.

http://www.rifirepipes.org/

https://www.randmcnally.com/blog/post/the-biggest-st-patricks-day-celebrations-in-the-us

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/insider/1854-no-irish-need-apply.amp.html

https://www.crisismagazine.com/2019/st-patricks-day-religious-holy-day-or-ethnic-holiday

https://www.thoughtco.com/history-of-the-st-patricks-day-parade-1773800

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/this-day-in-history/first-st-patricks-day-parade

Is it Paddy or Patty and Does it Matter?

It starts every March and much to the pain of anyone has any Irish blood, we see the Happy St. Patty's day comments coming out. It's cringy at best and insulting at worst. 

I have a thing about names. Names are important. Don't be lazy amd disrespectful and choose not learn someone's name properly....but that's another issue. Let's get back to St. Patrick. 

St. Patrick was the Catholic saint who drove the "snakes" aka Druids out of Ireland (newsflash, they are still there ;) ). In Ireland it has always been a day of mourning as March 17th marks the day of his death. The celebrations are starting to become more US like these days. 

Anyway...his name was Patrick, but in the Irish language the name is actually Padraig.  Thos can be pronounced in a few ways but my family says pore-ack (though sometimes it sounds like pore-ag). 

So the nickname Paddy comes from Padraig not Patrick. Patty is the short name for Patricia. 

So...

Padraig/Patrick = Paddy

Patricia = Patty

It is St. Patrick's day or St. Paddy's Day but NEVER St. Patty's day!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/sport/2007/jul/24/golf.comment

It's the Month of the Irish!

Every March we get ready to celebrate Saint Patrick's day. In Rhode Island it is the month of the Irish rather than a day.

  This month celebrate the beautiful culture of the Irish. I will post Samsung series, facts and history about the country of my husband's childhood and my children's heritage.

Here are some things that's I have already posted on my personal Facebook page.

CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE 

Did you know...

Corned beef and cabbage is synonymous with St. Patrick's Day and the Irish. Although it originAted in Ireland by the British , it is not actually a dish the Irish ate.

 I was surprised to learn that cows were a sacred animal and the only time they were eaten was when they were old. Instead, they ate pork. The rashers (or bacon) are a beautiful cut of pork belly that is really hard to find in the US. 

Apparently in the 19th century the British were well known for their insatiable appetite for beef. Ireland basically became their cattle playground. They created the first Irish salted beef using salt crystals the size of corn kernels amd wa la! We have corned beef. 

Despite Iteland being a destination specifically for the corned beef, due to the oppressive laws the British imposed on the country, and more specifically, the Catholic inhabitants, they just couldn't afford it until after the famine when they lived in areas that were flooded with cattle lowering the price. 

Being in the US and finally being able to afford beef and not having access to the pork they were used to, they began eating corned beef and cabbage. 

It is now mostly known as am American-Irish dish. It has in fact, changed over the last 200 years but the concept is the same. 

My husband was in this country for 5 years before even bothering to try it lol. It is NOT my favorite dish, but now that I know what the original cut of beef it came from, we just might have to attempt to make it!

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/is-corned-beef-really-irish-2839144/

Irish Genocide/Famine

Did you know...

In 1845 Ireland suffered from An Górta Mór or The Great Hunger. Most know it as the potato famine that brought so many Irish to American shores. 

The potato crops were heavily relied on as a staple food source because the Irish were not allowed to hunt and fish under British laws. If someone was Catholic (90% of the Republic is Catholic) they were not allowed to own land. The land was held by a small amount of protestant Irish and Englishmen. Between these two it kept the Irish in poverty and unable to get ahead. 

After a series of failures the crop fell hard to a disease that reportedly came from the Americas.  During this time 1 MILLION people died, mostly due to starvation. Another 1 million left the country. Often those who left would be on what was known as "coffin ships" because at least 1/3 died by the time they arrived at their destination. 

Most people do not go beyond this to know that there was in fact plenty of food in Ireland. The exportation of this food to England actually increased during the famine. The Prime Minister Sir Robert Peel managed to repeal the Corn Laws (laws that made corn and bread so expensive no one could actually afford them) but he was defeated at reelection because of it. The new government put Sir Charles Trevelyan in charge of the relief effort. Instead of helping, he actually LIMITED help very vocally believing that “the judgement of God sent the calamity to teach the Irish a lesson”.

It is now widely believed that the British leaders with prejudices against the Irish took full advantage of the potato famine and conducted a genocide of the people they had tried to break and dominate for so long. 

Ireland's population has never fully recovered from this event. 

https://www.parliament.uk/about/living-heritage/evolutionofparliament/legislativescrutiny/parliamentandireland/overview/the-great-famine/

http://www.irishhistorylinks.net/History_Links/IrishFamineGenocide.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/immigration/irish-potato-famine

IRISH LANGUAGE 

Did you know...

That Ireland has two OFFICIAL languages? One is English and the other is Gaelic, but if you know anyone who speaks it, it is referred to as just Irish. Yes, they will correct you. "Is that Gaelic? Oh you mean Irish?..."

As of 2017 39% of the country CAN speak Irish, but only a small percentage use it as their primary language and on a daily basis. 

It is mostly spoken in Counties Galway (49%), Clare (45.9%), Cork (44.9%), and Mayo (43.9). Many of these places are located within what is called the Gaeltacht. This means that it is a government recognized part of Ireland that primarily speaks Irish. 

If you want to experience a bit of it go to Ireland and do the "Gaeltacht Experience". Or you could go to your local Irish bar, especially during big events. The Galway Bay Irish Pub tends to draw those who can speak it. Wanna see if you can hear a bit? Check out the concert on Thursday. Derek Warfield and the Young Wolfetones are coming and they out the Irish from all over ;)

So the next time someone mentions Ireland's language try not to gape with your mouth open and say "Huh? I just thought it was English with an accent." Know that it is a real and lovely language and getting stronger all the time.

(Sign can be purchased at Carroll's Irish Gifts)

Listen to the Voice

We all have that voice inside of us that tells us what is happening. It gives us warning bells, advice and more. It is our intuition saying "Hey, this is what is up". Do you listen to that voice, or do you squash it down and ignore it?

I've been learning to listen to it more. I listened to it a long time ago and it made for some awkward times. I didn't fit in, I went against the norm. So I ignored it. I ignored it for years. Then I started sorta listening to it until I started listening to Women Wanting More. Dr. Osburn urges you to listen to that voice inside, especially if it is loud and insistent. Listen to what it is saying. Your intuition can be strong. The term "women's intuition" didn't become a "thing" for no reason.

Don't let others deter you from listening to the Voice, the one that tells you that you can do it, that you are ready, gives you the ideas you need, tells you what path to be on.

Do you have someone who is telling you not too? Are they questioning what you want to do? Are they telling you it will never work? Stand up for yourself. Use you voice even if it shakes and cracks and scares you to your core. You are worth it. You are worth taking that chance. Go all in. Defend what you want.

The more you defend what you want and take the steps and actions you need in order to get there, the strpnger the Voice becomes. Be your own advocate. Yes you have to surround yourself with a tribe that will support you, but sometimes you will have to gain their support after you stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone bully you into thinking you can't do it or you aren't good enough.

Want to know more about what Dr. Karen has to say? Head on over to podcast episode #13 Speak Your Truth...Even if Your Voice Shakes.

What is Your Story?

These last several posts I've talked about some tough issues. Things in life that can be difficult but it is freeing when you break though. I can't claim credit, all of these thought provoking journies come from a motivational speaker (I don't know if she would really want to be called that lol). In previous posts I've added a link to her site. I'll add the podcast number and title to the bottom of each post from now on so you can listen to it yourself. If you decide to join her facebook page and follow her direction, let me know. It's been pretty good for me so far!

#WomenWantingMore

When it Gets Tough

There will be multiple times when you wanna say f*#k this, I'm done. I QUIT!

Don't every time you want to quit you are so close to a victory. Keep pushing through that wall. I gave up and quit far too many times. I hate being a quitter, but I did. I came up with every excuse in the book. I just let everything get in the way, allowing my fears to drown out all the hard work I put in long before now.

I dislike the idea of wasting my 20's and the first half of my 30's. I'm choosing to not see it as wasted time, but I do think I allowed things to get in the way. I created stories as to why I couldn't do it. Honestly? I'd probably still be telling stories, but after I had my girls I wanted more. I wanted more than to drift through a job. I wanted meaning, and a purpose in what I do for work. If my life wasn't going to be a stay at home mom, then I needed to be in a position to make a visible difference in people's lives.

I broke through the first story, and I've been getting rid of them slowly, but surely. I have a looooong way to go, but I'll make. I may want to quit a few more times, but I have a great support network. I have surrounded myself with people who know how much it means to me and support my decisions but are willing to tell me when they think what I'm doing may not work. Support with a dose of reality.

Make sure you have your network. It needs to be strong. If someone tells you that it won't work and you can't do it then you need to find a new network. You need people who will be a positive force in your life to share those great moments and get you through the low times.

So... who do you have there for you?

Is Fighting in Your Marriage Healthy?

No one likes to fight. It's exhausting and you can say some pretty nasty things if you aren't careful. Things you can't take back. You snip, snipe and snarl at each other, but in the end have you accomplished anything? Have you worked out what the issue was in the first place?

I hate fighting, but I hate the lingering resentment that comes with it. I also dislike the anxiety it creates when I'm angry and need to speak with him. I hate that feeling of having to talk about something that bothers me. No one likes to bare their feelings even if it is to their beloved partner.

So what to do? Well...suck it up. Talk to your partner. We rarely have a "fight", but when we try to make it as constructive as possible. No name calling. We say what we need to and stop bringing up past things that have already been resolved. We stick to the present. Even if it means that we yell (well okay, I yell lol) and get frustrated. I will say that any discussion we have typically is after the kids go to bed. They are still too young to understand the difference between a nasty fight and a loud or tense/ discussion.

It took us a long time to learn to be truly open to each other and to feel safe with each other. Once we reached that level in our relationship it became easier to talk to each other about difficult things. It was easier to fight on a civilized level and our relationship is better for it.

That doesn't mean once in awhile I don't feel nervous about a subject, but that's me, and nothing to do with him. He has never made me feel bad or belittled me. We still have things to work on, but what couple doesn't? It's only been 10 years. We have plenty more to work on our "fight" ;)

Why I got Rid of My Vision BOard

Growing up we were taught about vision boards. What are they? Vision boards are posters or boards with all of your goals and dreams on them. The type of job you have, the house you want, the wedding you want, the vacation you want etc. You can vision board just about anything. Even in the home businesses I joined previously we had team building exercises where we made vision boards or dream boards. They were fun! They were meant to inspire us to keep our dreams in front of us so we could cross them off as we made them a reality. The problem is that dream/vision boards are just that. They are the dreams and vision we have for our future, but what about the work we need to put into them? Are we doing anything except looking at them? Are we doing anything except looking at them? Instead of making concrete plans we continue to stare at our vision. 

Put away the vision board and make plans. Take the steps you need to actually move toward those dreams rather than just keeping them on a board. Dr. Karen Osburn from Women Wanting More challenges you to throw it away and take an actual step toward what you want. If you have a board then you obviously know what you want.  Take the knowledge of that and take an action step. Just one thing! 

For me, it was deciding what I wanted and signing up for the training. I became a Certified Lactation Counselor. I then signed up to take my massage therapy licensing exam. I'd failed before because I allowed my testing anxiety to get in the way. I passed. I was ELATED. I decided to make that one small step and then another and another. Months later I have changed my path, identifying what I want to do, and taking the steps to make it happen. Today I am also a licensed massage therapist with a place to call home. The goal will be to work with prenatal women into postpartum helping with breastfeeding and teaching parents to massage their babies.

I'm on my path, but that doesn't mean the work is done. I will have lots of work to do to make this into a viable business, but I"m willing. I'm willing to put in what is necessary to get what I want.

Are you?

Progress?

Well, so far I've maintained my temper...most of the time. Even the one time I "yelled" at her I didn't really yell. I was more annoyed and she knew it. We had a chat and it worked out.

So here I am going "okay, we've got this". What does she do? She bites a kid at daycare. My sweet empathetic little girl bit someone! Another girl she likes! What the heck?! Fiona may have a tantrum or two but they rarely last long and she certainly doesn't inflict pain on another child on purpose.

Instead of getting mad, as we were getting ready to home I told her that I'd heard she had a rough day. She mumbled yes, but she didn't really want to talk about it then. I talked to her about what happened. She did say sorry to the kid, but I wasn't satisfied that she knew what she did was wrong. The conversation we had was confusing. I wanted her to understand. I don't think we left the conversation as clear as I wanted, but she got the message that biting is not ok even when she's feeling lots of big emotions.  Hopefully, it'll be fine, but until then I'll just keep talking to her. She is only 4 after all and she's working through lots of emotions as she is getting older.

The "Yell Parent"

So I'm a "yell parent". I didn't mean to be. I didn't want to be. Unfortunately, I slid into it. Arguing

with my 4-year-old. Angry that she wasn't doing what she was told. Forgetting that she's just 4 and

figuring things out. She's my oldest and of course, that means I think she's the smartest kid ever and

can't understand why she doesn't get certain things. That is on me. She's still a baby, not a teen or an

adult. I have to work on my own crap so that I can help her navigate through childhood while still

having fun.

It broke my heart to hear her say "That's ok, yelling is just what grownups do". I was horrified that

my daughter thinks that it is normal for grownups to yell at kids all the time. I knew immediately that

I had to do something. I want my daughter to grow up a strong confident woman. How can she do

that if I undercut her confidence by constantly yelling at her? So I decided to do something about it. I

purchased the book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr.

Laura Markham.

I know a lot of people think that kids need to just listen and deal with it, but I find that I have a 

sensitive little girl who really wants to please and wants to know we approve of her. When I talk to

her gently and explain things and not yell it helps. I started using some of the techniques in the book

and I've noticed a huge difference in our interactions. I love it. She listens more, she understands

more and is wanting to do more.

Today we had such an amazing day. My daughter was laughing and smiling the entire time. Not once

did I see that look of apprehension and/or sadness on her face? Yelling doesn't accomplish anything,

but putting in the work for my kids is. I know we will have our challenges in the future but for now,

we are working together to have a better connection.




Now if you will excuse me I need to go give my babies lots of hugs.

What do I want in my life

What do I want in my life with my marriage, my kids, my work/business life, my body/health, and my spirituality

My life is busy. I"m married with 2 kids, a full-time job. I'm 30 pounds overweight and do not attend church like I'd like to (I work weekends, and worship is only one day a week...yay recordings!). 

In my marriage, I want to find more we can do together. Our life has shifted in the last four years since we had our first daughter. Life is not about work and going out anymore. Life is about how things work with a family. Our interests shift because of it so we need to adjust the things we enjoy together as a family and as a couple. 

I want to be a better mom. One who is more patient and doesn't yell. I admit it, I'm a yell mom. I try not to, but the third and 4th time I have to ask I end up yelling. I do not like it and am working to change it. I want my girls to grow up strong, confident women. Sometimes it can be a challenge to balance wanting them to have the freedom to explore and wanting them to just not annoy me with basic kid things lol.

I currently hate my job. It wasn't always that way. I've also realized that I am treading water. I like to learn new things. I like to change what I'm doing and continue to get better. Unfortunately, there is nowhere to go. No promotions to be had as we have too many people in leadership positions. Due to this, I am finally focusing on the things I want to do but was so scared to truly pursue. I recently received my certification as a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC) and pursuing the next level, which is IBCLC (board certified lactation consultant). I've also passed my test and am currently applying for my license to practice massage therapy. My goal is to work with all patients, but really focus on prenatal, infants and nursing moms. I'm so excited to pursue these goals.

I seriously need to get back in shape. I do not take the time for me to exercise properly. I eat decently, but not properly. I need a diet that allows me to use my A.D.D. rather than have it work against me. I can utilize it to help me rather than creating chaos in my life. My goal for this year is to have the right diet plan and get into an active exercise routine. I felt better at the pre-baby weight and that is my goal.

I finally found a church that I like a couple of years ago. I'm Presbyterian, and there are not many of those in Rhode Island. Lucky for me, I found one right down the street. It does not take long to get there. The unfortunate thing is that I work weekends and unlike other denominations we only have worship once a week. They do record each Sunday so I am able to listen to the sermons and possibly participate in other events throughout the week or month. Once my schedule changes after I leave my current job, I'll be able to attend more regularly. While I'm working on this I do stay in regular contact with my Pastor, who also happens to be a fellow breastfeeding Mom. Gotta love it!

So what is the answer to this question for YOU? 

*The question was taken from the podcast of Dr. Karen Osburn, creator of Women Wanting More

www.drkarenosburn.com

I highly recommend checking out her FaceBook page Women Wanting More, and the podcast if you even have a single thought of wanting more in your life.

Long Absence

It's been awhile since I've posted. I could give excuses and explanations but basically I was too lazy to remember. Here's hoping 2018 will be better!

So, now 2018 is about to start. I have to young spirited kids, a job I'm totally over, and new opportunities for the year.

My Saoirse-girl is 16 months and quite the spitfire. She lets you know when she isn't happy and will so her best to get what she wants. She's absolutely friggin adorable. It's a good thing too because sometimes her sister wants to give her back lol

Good thing they love each other! Through the year I'll tell you about their antics, my new journey, new products and recipes we try. See you soon!

~C

The Great Leggings Debate

So a few months ago Rhode Island had the Leggings Debacle. An older gay man (yes it was important to the story at the time to note his sexual orientation) wrote a letter to the editor talking about how women over college age should definitely not be wearing leggings outside the house...ever. You can imagine how well that went down. I mean, in today's world women, most notably, stay at home moms, throw on whatever is comfortable and doesn't look like pajamas. The leggings craze was then born.

So over the last several years the unofficial symbol of the mom who just needed to get out of the house have been sporting yoga gear. They are easy to spot. Yoga pants/leggings, t-shirt, sneakers and a baseball cap typically with the hair in a pony tail. It was everywhere. It didn't matter if you were a SAHM, working mom on your day off, just running an errand, meeting a friend, the list can go on. It became such a craze that it became the focus of memes, poking fun and straight up nasty commentary.

I was one of the haters. I had to wonder if women over 40 who didn't actually practice yoga were just trying to look younger since all the 20 and 30 somethings were sporting them and looked cute in the process. To many people it made older women just seem desperate, chasing the next youth serum.

I was never outwardly mean, but I definitely thought it. Heck, I wasn't that nice about it when thinking about anyone who wore them on a regular basis. I mean, at least practice yoga. Stop trying to fake it.

That was the judgmental side of me coming out and it wasn't very pretty. Do I still think it's weird when people live in their yoga clothes and don't practice yoga? Why yes I do, but I no longer judge. What do I care what they are wearing?

Now the new craze is not yoga gear. It's leggings. Same concept, BUT way more fun. So in the last year, LulaRoe (LLR) has exploded. They went from a few thousand Independent Consultants (IC) to more than 100K. They are known for their extraordinarily soft leggings and crazy patterns. They also have dresses, skirts, and shirts. The shirts in their various forms all cover the "assets".

I stayed away from it all because I've always been terrified of too many colors and the few times I had tried leggings I hated them. They weirded me out. So this year I finally gave in and gave it a shot. My sister's friend gave me a pair for free with my purchase. I now own several pairs. I have fallen victim to the "holey controversy". Three of my 15 pairs have holes and are no longer usable. I'm annoyed and won't buy anymore but that's a story for another day.

The point is, I tried something new and scary even though I judged and judged harshly. I find that as a mom who just wants to raise her kids, I don't judge nearly as much.

Planes and Babies

So I planned a visit to my sister in California. I was a little worried because I wasn't sure how I was going to travel to the opposite side of the country... literally across the country (RI to CA!!) with a 6 week old and a 2.5 year old. It was quite the experience.

So let me start with booking the ticket. My husband booked our tickets and we had it all set. Unfortunately we had a family emergency that had us booking an earlier flight at 10pm at night. We thought we were all set until the next day he called back to confirm that our infant was listed in the information. As it turns out, they never confirmed the ticket! I would NOT have been happy if I showed up for my flight and we didn't have a confirmed seat on a very full plane.

That should have told me how this flight was going to go. Now I had everything all planned out. I had my stroller. I planned to use the bassinet in the airport, use the toddler carseat on the plane and check the infant car seat. This would allow me to check the infant car seat and check the stroller and bassinet at the gate.

As we are getting our tickets they decide to tell me that they will not allow me to take my stroller with me. Only collapsible 20 pound strollers allowed. I questioned this policy as i had just flown with them in May. The 2 ladies told me that it was a new policy. I was absolutely livid. How did they expect me to travel through my connection with 2 babies and a 50 pound carseat?? They didn't care at all. My husband is a very frequent flyer with them and he was so upset he has decided to use other airlines.

I posted about it on a popular stroller site just to find out that this was in fact a stated policy on their website for the last several years. The problem is that they choose when to enforce the policy. Many of the women expressed their displeasure with this airline because in one airport they will enforce it but on the return flight they don't. It is all based on the airport. There is no consistency and obviously no care for families. They used to allow families to board first but that has since gone away as well.

Anyway, I get to the connection airport where the flight attendants and gate agents have never heard of this policy. One woman helped me get the heavy carseat to the gate where I took over and found a luggage cart I could rent for $5 for the 2 hours I was there. I wouldn't have had to spend the money if I'd had my stroller but it was worth it since I had my infant in my shirt like carrier (Nestingdays.com) and my toddler on my back in my Ergo carrier.

I don't normally travel with a car seat on the plane but it was probably the best thing I could have done. Once I was able to get on the plane I got the seat and kid buckled in and we were ready to rock. It was a decent flight with her unable to get out other seat. I doubt I'll fly without it again.

The second plane I got on in Philly I met 2 amazing flight attendants who made sure my toddler and I were sitting next to each other. They helped me get settled into our seats and when we landed they allowed me to stay put until we took off again. It was a good flight. The people around me were nice about my infant crying. The gentleman who sat next to me was pleasant. It's always a relief.

When we took off a third time I sat next to this wonderful lady. I never got her name but she was my kind of people. A Physical Therapist getting married at a bed and breakfast to a HS teacher under the summer solstice on a Wednesday next June. She played with my babies and talked to them and was just the sweetest person. I can only wish her the happiest blessings on her career and marriage.

When we landed the same two attendants were beyond wonderful. They helped me bring my carseat down to baggage claim where I met my sister. They were pleasant the whole time, they talked to us and helped me, a person traveling alone with two small children.

Despite the rough start it was not that bad of a trip. Now hopefully the return will be better...

Home Party Businesses

I recently saw a post from a mom blogger about how much she hates the invites to home parties and then feels as if they try to guilt her if she doesn't buy anything. I have to admit that I was really annoyed by this. In a world where pre-school is now more expensive than college per year, daycare takes most of our paychecks and we are forced to decide whether or not we go back to work.

For many families having one partner stay home makes more sense than both working and spending so much money on daycare and pre-school. That doesn't mean being full time Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. Several family members are stay at home moms (SAHM) and their schedule makes me dizzy, but some people thrive on working a job.

So how do you do what is best for your family and still get the satisfaction of working? You join a home party business. You become a consultant for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Athena's Home Novelties, or a million other ones that are out there. In my case I chose Melaleuca. I don't sell products just enroll memberships.

Yes sometimes being added to groups without your permission can be annoying and you'll have that one friend who adds you to everything. You have to be straightforward with that friend. You have to tell them (nicely) that you would prefer to be asked rather than just randomly added.

Support these Mamas (and Papas). Support them in trying to make a living selling decent products. It is NOT easy to reach out to friends and family and ask them to at least listen to your "pitch". Even if you aren't interested you can still pass on their info. You never know who might be interested.

So instead of being angry and rolling your eyes just check it out. I did. I avoided Jamberry for a long time and then I sucked in by the promise of a baby free night. Now I love them and I'm glad I gave it a chance. You might be too.

and the Days Roll On...

I went out on maternity leave a week before my due date just to have my newest girl arrive 12 days late. She is now 5 weeks old and  my days roll into each. Time gets away from me and before I know it the day is done.

Anyone feel like that? Where the heck did my day go? It's amazing how fast your days go by when you aren't doing anything except keeping little humans alive...

My Birth Story is Not Your Birth Story

Every person, every pregnancy and every baby is so very different. Comparing people to each other or to your self is not productive. I know. I know. You've probably heard "You're so (small, big). I was ______. It's annoying isn't it? Especially if you are 5'2 and the person saying this to you is 6'2 or vice versa.

When I was pregnant with my first I gained 32 pounds and people constantly told me I was really small and was I sure everything was ok. At least until the last month when I gained a lot of water weight. With my second I was all belly, but by the time I reached 6 months people kept making comments like "You're so big. You'll be as big as a house by the time you're ready to go." and "Don't have it here!". I gained about 50 pounds this time. I had stretch marks that I didn't have the first time. I had different pains, cravings etc.

My point is that I'm just one person and my two pregnancies were totally different.

I lost count trying to figure out how many of my friends who were due this year alone. I think I stopped at 33 people. Some are first time moms, some are second time around like me and others are on their 3rd, 4th, or 5th child. Each one of these women is built different. their bodies, their health, their structure. Get it? Totally different. Some have singles and some have twins. Some are in their early 20's and some are mid 40's.

With all these differences how can someone believe they can actually compare two women together when you can't even compare pregnancies in a single person!

Now that we have that out of the way...

I have two children and I've had two types of deliveries. My first was a belly birth. She was a scheduled c-section due to being breech and growth restricted. My baby was a peanut. We actually chose her birth day. She was born in a half an hour from when we got started. An hour max from when they brought me to the OR.

My second baby (who will be one month this Saturday!) was an un-medicated vaginal birth.with no interventions (unless you count an attempted membrane sweep. What do I mean? Please see the post on my birth story.). Full active labor and pushing was 6.5 hours.

Even my recoveries with both were vastly different.

There are so many ways to have the birth that you want or that is best for you. You know what they say about best laid plans...

Listen, plan your perfect scenario. Plan how you imagine it going. I don't care how crazy it is Imagine what you want even if it is hanging upside down on a trapeze. Lay it all out. How much if any interventions do you want (pain killers, nitrous, episiotomy, etc)? Do you want a home birth, hospital, birthing center? What is available in your area?

All these things affect how your labor and birth will go. The resources I had, and continued to pursue allowed me to have a positive birth experience with both of my girls. The first didn't go as planned but because of the amazing care I received (after I switched to a new provider at 36 weeks!) I was happy in the end. You need to do the same. Lay out your plans and then write down the things that can change it. If you are prepared that it might change and not be your perfect scenario then you continue to hold the power to the best birth possible. You cannot be disappointed or feel that you failed in how things go if you are already accepting that things can change.

Don't listen to others who are eager to share the gruesome details of their own. Don't let anyone scare you. Being scared will not serve you in any way shape or form. Don't compare your pregnancy to someone else.

You are your own beautiful person. Be the best you can and bring that wonderful little human into the world in the best way for YOU without the chatter of others.

Why I Chose a Doula

Whenever I mention that I chose to have a doula for my birth, I get asked what it is. According to DONA International "The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and information support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period".

The basic definition is that a doula is a birth coach. They help the mom understand her what her options and choices are concerning her care and her birth experience. Sadly in the US we still have medical care providers that believe they have total control over our bodies and the babies we carry within them.

Being one of the last of my friends and family to have a baby I thought I knew quite a bit, but after hiring my doula Merav she showed me a whole new world. I had no idea there was so much involved. The sheet she handed me with procedures listed that I may or may not want to have done. Seriously, the sheet was covered front and back. I was shocked. I knew I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. Yeah that didn't work out. I ended up with a c-section or as I like to call it, a belly birth.

Merav called me one day and told me that she got accepted to nursing school (yay her!) and that she could continue to be my doula with a backup or she could just recommend someone else. I chose to stick with her and meet her backup Lisa (who is now going to school to become a midwife!). I was in touch with both of them equally and when I found out the date of my c-section it turned out that I would have Lisa with me. Did I really need her in the surgery room? Probably not, but I'm still glad she was there. It was her voice I remember through the haze of the anesthesia. It wasn't supposed to knock me out, but I take a little to well to it so I was pretty hazy through most of the surgery. My husband was there and I just remember the 2 of them saying supporting things and telling me what was going on. It was my husband who told me we had a girl.

We developed a relationship with Lisa. We worked together when we tried to save the Birthing Center in the hospital I had my first daughter in. She was the one I contacted when I got pregnant with my second. Merav was and still is amazing, but Lisa and I just seemed to click. She became a friend. She did my maternity pictures, she was there throughout my VBAC with my second daughter and she did her newborn pictures.

Sometimes your doula becomes more than just the woman (or man) who helps your husband not stand there like a deer in headlights or updates family members or even keeps unwanted family members out of the room (sometimes mom, step-mom or MIL want to be in the room and laboring mom doesn't want anyone but doc and partner). Sometimes they become a friend.

They can hep you through unknown territory and ease your experience, and mind. There is no place for stress during labor!

Contact your local doula association today. In RI we have Doulas of Rhode Island. Get the info and decide for yourself if you want the extra support!

Placenta Pills

It sounds weird right? Placenta encapsulation. It seems fairly straightforward but people are either hesitant to ask or they flat out ask WTF is that?!

So most people know that when you have a baby there is also the placenta. The placenta is full of all kinds of goodness. It replaces a lot that your body loses... such as hormones. According to BellyBelly the practice of ingesting the placenta goes back 1500 years!

"I will bet those who joke about it don’t even realise that placentas have been used in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) as long ago as in the 1500s, which is longer than modern medicine has even existed. It’s been continued to be used due to an abundance of great properties believed to make a huge difference to a new mother’s mental health, recovery and well being. - See more at: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/placenta-encapsulation/"

I know many women who chose to take them because it replaces the hormones you instantly lost when you had the baby. You think you're emotions are out of whack when preggo? Try re-balancing after Baby is born. I had them for my first and I knew that I wanted them this time around. 

I lost a lot of blood. Enough that my blood count and behavior was watched but not enough to consider a transfusion. When I left the hospital I was 4 prescriptions. Ibuprofen, Tylenol with codeine (which I still haven't taken), stool softener, and iron pills. I also had my placenta pills. I take all but the Tylenol twice a day. Having the placenta pills has helped.

Keep in mind that every placenta is different. With my first I got 78 pills. With my second I got 176. It just depends on the baby.

Now Shelley, the woman who made mine after both pregnancies, has become a midwife! 

I'm so proud to know that the supportive women in my life are choosing to take the next step in women's care and giving us so many beautiful options.

If you have more questions I suggest you find your local person and ask them questions. We only have 2 in RI so they fill up quick!

Welcoming My Newest Family Member

Previously I had mentioned that I was late into my pregnancy and just waiting for my due date to arrive so that we could meet babe #2. We waited and we waited... and we waited. We waited for 12 days past the due date!

My story starts with me leaving the hospital 2.5 years ago knowing I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My daughter was breach and growth restricted. Having a cesarean section is not an easy thing to do. It is a major surgery and is not used lightly (at least not anymore). I spent 6 weeks unable to sleep anywhere but the couch and in pain every time I laughed, coughed or sneezed. Not fun.

Fast forward 20 months and I'm pregnant with my second child. I immediately went back to the doctor who performed my c-section. Why? Well she is amazing. She is a family doc and her partner is an OB. The thing is, my doctors are very much about supporting the woman in her needs. They do not believe on forcing their own views on the mother they are working with. They give all options and recommendations based on each individual person. I found a team that would support my decisions, but would have no problem being upfront if they think my decisions will affect my health or my growing baby's health.

Lucky me! I have a fairly uneventful pregnancy. One little blip but that was it. I pass all my tests. I'm still working.

Yup I'm working right up until the week before I'm due. People think I'm crazy, but what am I supposed to do? I need to work and if I'm on light duty I would go crazy with boredom.Yes I was on my feet and yes I was picking up bags weighing 10-75 pounds but it kept me in shape and healthy. I don't go to the gym and work out... I go to work.

Fast forward to August 7th and it's my first day of maternity leave. I really didn't know what to do with myself. It's a Sunday and my 2.5 year old was surprised that I was home. The week passed uneventfully. I continued to do stuff with my daughter. We hung out with friends, saw family and finally My due date arrived.
Of course the messages started arriving in the afternoon. "No baby yet?", "When are you having the baby?", "How long will they let you go?", "Let us know when it's happening.". My answer was the same every time. Baby will come when it's ready. I continued to say this for days. I did tell my doctor that I thought the baby would be late and sure enough she was a stubborn one.

I went back at 41 weeks. We talked about a membrane sweep but I just wasn't ready. So we decided that we would go back in on Friday and do the sweep if Baby didn't make an appearance. Thursday I felt a few tiny contractions and it gave me hope, but we still ended up back at the hospital Friday.

This is the not so fun part...  

My doc wanted to do a check and a membrane sweep to see if it would help. As my doc prepared, I had to as well. To me it is something that would either be super uncomfortable or would just plain hurt. The second she started probing with one finger I immediately flinched. The second that happened she knew immediately what was wrong. Apparently I have something called Vaginal Tenesmus. I won't bore you with the fancy details, but basically my muscles involuntarily clamp down during any type of "invasion". It' a smooth muscle thing and I can't control it. It's probably also the reason I hadn't gone into labor yet. My muscles were just too darn tight to let anything start happening (so all those kegals over the years were a total waste apparently...). She wiggled a bit further and was able to feel Baby's head. She couldn't really do the full sweep, but what little she was able to do... boy did it get things started.

On the way home I noticed the twinges starting. Throughout the night they got more noticeable. By 7pm they were every 40 minutes apart. That was fine. What did I do? Put my baby to bed and did my nails and my moms nails. Thank you Jamberry for an easy manicure! I chose Tartan. I am a warrior!

Tartan by Jamberry

I attempted to get some sleep about 10 but every time I would start to fall asleep a contraction would happen strong enough to make me sit straight up! By 11pm my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart lasting 45-60 seconds. I was on my hands and knees in the bathroom. I couldn't get through them any other way. After the first hour I woke my mom up. The second hour I woke my husband up and told him to call his parents.

I spent the next half hour laboring outside on my porch staring at the pink crescent moon, with my mom and my doula while my husband made sure the van was ready to go. You would think I would have done that earlier. Yeah no.... good thing we had some time. We heard a weird noise and my mom ran upstairs to check it out thinking it was my toddler waking up. When she got upstairs it turned out that my chihuahua was sitting on the couch whining because she didn't know what was going on. My poor dog. Your mom grabbed it and brought it downstairs so she wouldn't be alone.

My in-laws pulled up and we barely said hello. I ran to the back of the van when my mom handed my mother-in-law the dog LOL. The drive to the hospital is a 30 minute drive and I wasn't sure how I was going to get through 30 minutes in the back of the van trying to get through contractions. I was on my hands and knees in the back of the van the entire time because I just couldn't do anything else. Every time I tried it was just too much. I would think that I would finally get a chance to sit just to be right back on my hands and knees yelling and trying to keep my voice in low tones to get through a contraction.

As it turns out I didn't need to worry about a 30 minute drive. My husband managed to make it in 12 minutes. Apparently my moans and screams were motivation for him to get me to the hospital! My poor doula was following us the whole way.

We got into the emergency room where was a complete Ghost Town. Not a single patient was in there. It was a very odd feeling but a couple of minutes later an employee came out with a wheelchair. At first they wanted to admit me to the ER but my husband demanded to know where our doctor was. Luckily a nurse from labor and delivery came down and told them to get me upstairs right away because they had been waiting for me. My mother and husband were smart enough to call ahead and let them know that we were coming. It isn't something I would have thought of.

I don't remember much of that part except the poor kid kept trying to ask me questions in the middle of a contraction. I doubt I was very nice to him at that time. We got up stairs and into a room where I was attended by a couple of nurses and midwives while we waited for the doctor yet to get there. Unfortunately the doctor I worked with my whole pregnancy just happened to be off. Luckily the on-call doctor is someone I really like as well. They might as well be the same person; though they do call him a midwife in a man's body LOL. He quietly stood by assessing how I was doing and gave encouragement when needed. He didn't need to step in to often as my mother, husband, doula and a nurse were all in the room.

The contraction were on top of each other. They came fast and hard. Luckily I had a great team. They kept me going through each one. In between I fell asleep. I could feel my eyes rolling back. My husband supporting my weight from behind so I can rest. At one point the nurse told me to stand up and hang on my husband. When they finally got me off the bed and hanging on him, I spent an hour using him physically to get through it each time they hit. My poor husband. It's a good thing he's a big guy because he bore my weight for a full hour. I have to admit that it was really comforting to just hold onto him. He was so amazing through the whole process.

I think husbands and fathers just don't get enough credit. Often they are portrayed as impatient, lazy, annoying and useless. Mine was not. He was phenomenal.

Then came time to push. It was the weirdest feeling. Ever have to go to the bathroom really bad but your sorta constipated? Yeah it was like that times 10. I got back on the bed and started to push. It was odd. That was when I noticed the waves came in threes. The first wave hurt more in my stomach and I felt like I couldn't get under it. I pushed with the second and third wave, and I was tired by the end of each contraction.

That's when the nurse stepped in and started telling me how to get through it. At one point she told me "Come on Claire, the doc is coming. Show him something impressive!", "Well that is a wussy push. Come on give it a good Irish push!". If I hadn't been in the middle of a contraction I would have laughed. In my head I kept thinking, why can't I get this kid out?! The nurse gave me a mask and I breathed it in, but every time I did I felt like I was falling asleep instantly. I kept wondering if they gave me nitrus. It was the new way to give pain medication without having to take conventional drugs.

Finally I had enough and I started to get into a good rhythm. I wasn't going to push for hour on end. I just wanted it done. I wanted to hold my baby. They kept telling me they could see the head and I just needed a couple of good pushes to get the baby out. I felt a burning that made me want to stop, but the doctor wouldn't let me. He stood next to me and helped me push past the pain.

FINALLY THE BABY WAS OUT!!

I had done it. They whipped the baby off the bed and straight onto my chest. We had chosen to not find out the sex and no one looked so I did. I lifted the little leg and got to announce to the room that we had another baby girl! My baby girl was here!

We welcomed Saoirse Ann with the dawn after about 6 hours of labor and pushing.

After a few minutes I handed her over to her Daddy while the doc assessed me. 3rd degree tears that required extensive stitching. I did my entire labor and birth without any type of drugs. The mask the nurse gave me earlier was actually oxygen.The doc gave me the option and without hesitating I said yes to pain meds and getting numbed. After that long night I was not willing to get my vagina stitched up without meds.

What I found out later was that Saoirse was born in her caul! My water never broke. It is something unique and amazing.

I am so grateful I had the team I had. They were all amazing. They each helped me in their own way. Even though Saoirse is my second daughter, she was my first vaginal birth. I got to experience creating a life, feeling her move inside of me, and then delivering her without meds, without interventions. It was amazing. Granted I had a hard time walking due to the tearing and stitching, but in the end it will actually help me in the future.

It has been 3 weeks today since my family expanded from 4 to 5 (including the dog!) and we are settling in just fine. The dog barely glanced at her, Fiona thinks the baby was created for her, and I'm healing well. My husband continues to be a great help (though of course there are times I want to throw something at him like any other mom with a new baby).

There was a lot of collaboration with various people throughout the year and the journey ended with my beautiful baby.

Argroterra Photography