Whenever I mention that I chose to have a doula for my birth, I get asked what it is. According to DONA International "The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and information support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period".
The basic definition is that a doula is a birth coach. They help the mom understand her what her options and choices are concerning her care and her birth experience. Sadly in the US we still have medical care providers that believe they have total control over our bodies and the babies we carry within them.
Being one of the last of my friends and family to have a baby I thought I knew quite a bit, but after hiring my doula Merav she showed me a whole new world. I had no idea there was so much involved. The sheet she handed me with procedures listed that I may or may not want to have done. Seriously, the sheet was covered front and back. I was shocked. I knew I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. Yeah that didn't work out. I ended up with a c-section or as I like to call it, a belly birth.
Merav called me one day and told me that she got accepted to nursing school (yay her!) and that she could continue to be my doula with a backup or she could just recommend someone else. I chose to stick with her and meet her backup Lisa (who is now going to school to become a midwife!). I was in touch with both of them equally and when I found out the date of my c-section it turned out that I would have Lisa with me. Did I really need her in the surgery room? Probably not, but I'm still glad she was there. It was her voice I remember through the haze of the anesthesia. It wasn't supposed to knock me out, but I take a little to well to it so I was pretty hazy through most of the surgery. My husband was there and I just remember the 2 of them saying supporting things and telling me what was going on. It was my husband who told me we had a girl.
We developed a relationship with Lisa. We worked together when we tried to save the Birthing Center in the hospital I had my first daughter in. She was the one I contacted when I got pregnant with my second. Merav was and still is amazing, but Lisa and I just seemed to click. She became a friend. She did my maternity pictures, she was there throughout my VBAC with my second daughter and she did her newborn pictures.
Sometimes your doula becomes more than just the woman (or man) who helps your husband not stand there like a deer in headlights or updates family members or even keeps unwanted family members out of the room (sometimes mom, step-mom or MIL want to be in the room and laboring mom doesn't want anyone but doc and partner). Sometimes they become a friend.
They can hep you through unknown territory and ease your experience, and mind. There is no place for stress during labor!
Contact your local doula association today. In RI we have Doulas of Rhode Island. Get the info and decide for yourself if you want the extra support!
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