My story starts with me leaving the hospital 2.5 years ago knowing I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My daughter was breach and growth restricted. Having a cesarean section is not an easy thing to do. It is a major surgery and is not used lightly (at least not anymore). I spent 6 weeks unable to sleep anywhere but the couch and in pain every time I laughed, coughed or sneezed. Not fun.
Fast forward 20 months and I'm pregnant with my second child. I immediately went back to the doctor who performed my c-section. Why? Well she is amazing. She is a family doc and her partner is an OB. The thing is, my doctors are very much about supporting the woman in her needs. They do not believe on forcing their own views on the mother they are working with. They give all options and recommendations based on each individual person. I found a team that would support my decisions, but would have no problem being upfront if they think my decisions will affect my health or my growing baby's health.
Lucky me! I have a fairly uneventful pregnancy. One little blip but that was it. I pass all my tests. I'm still working.
Yup I'm working right up until the week before I'm due. People think I'm crazy, but what am I supposed to do? I need to work and if I'm on light duty I would go crazy with boredom.Yes I was on my feet and yes I was picking up bags weighing 10-75 pounds but it kept me in shape and healthy. I don't go to the gym and work out... I go to work.
Fast forward to August 7th and it's my first day of maternity leave. I really didn't know what to do with myself. It's a Sunday and my 2.5 year old was surprised that I was home. The week passed uneventfully. I continued to do stuff with my daughter. We hung out with friends, saw family and finally My due date arrived.
Of course the messages started arriving in the afternoon. "No baby yet?", "When are you having the baby?", "How long will they let you go?", "Let us know when it's happening.". My answer was the same every time. Baby will come when it's ready. I continued to say this for days. I did tell my doctor that I thought the baby would be late and sure enough she was a stubborn one.
I went back at 41 weeks. We talked about a membrane sweep but I just wasn't ready. So we decided that we would go back in on Friday and do the sweep if Baby didn't make an appearance. Thursday I felt a few tiny contractions and it gave me hope, but we still ended up back at the hospital Friday.
This is the not so fun part...
My doc wanted to do a check and a membrane sweep to see if it would help. As my doc prepared, I had to as well. To me it is something that would either be super uncomfortable or would just plain hurt. The second she started probing with one finger I immediately flinched. The second that happened she knew immediately what was wrong. Apparently I have something called Vaginal Tenesmus. I won't bore you with the fancy details, but basically my muscles involuntarily clamp down during any type of "invasion". It' a smooth muscle thing and I can't control it. It's probably also the reason I hadn't gone into labor yet. My muscles were just too darn tight to let anything start happening (so all those kegals over the years were a total waste apparently...). She wiggled a bit further and was able to feel Baby's head. She couldn't really do the full sweep, but what little she was able to do... boy did it get things started.
On the way home I noticed the twinges starting. Throughout the night they got more noticeable. By 7pm they were every 40 minutes apart. That was fine. What did I do? Put my baby to bed and did my nails and my moms nails. Thank you Jamberry for an easy manicure! I chose Tartan. I am a warrior!
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| Tartan by Jamberry |
I spent the next half hour laboring outside on my porch staring at the pink crescent moon, with my mom and my doula while my husband made sure the van was ready to go. You would think I would have done that earlier. Yeah no.... good thing we had some time. We heard a weird noise and my mom ran upstairs to check it out thinking it was my toddler waking up. When she got upstairs it turned out that my chihuahua was sitting on the couch whining because she didn't know what was going on. My poor dog. Your mom grabbed it and brought it downstairs so she wouldn't be alone.
My in-laws pulled up and we barely said hello. I ran to the back of the van when my mom handed my mother-in-law the dog LOL. The drive to the hospital is a 30 minute drive and I wasn't sure how I was going to get through 30 minutes in the back of the van trying to get through contractions. I was on my hands and knees in the back of the van the entire time because I just couldn't do anything else. Every time I tried it was just too much. I would think that I would finally get a chance to sit just to be right back on my hands and knees yelling and trying to keep my voice in low tones to get through a contraction.
As it turns out I didn't need to worry about a 30 minute drive. My husband managed to make it in 12 minutes. Apparently my moans and screams were motivation for him to get me to the hospital! My poor doula was following us the whole way.
We got into the emergency room where was a complete Ghost Town. Not a single patient was in there. It was a very odd feeling but a couple of minutes later an employee came out with a wheelchair. At first they wanted to admit me to the ER but my husband demanded to know where our doctor was. Luckily a nurse from labor and delivery came down and told them to get me upstairs right away because they had been waiting for me. My mother and husband were smart enough to call ahead and let them know that we were coming. It isn't something I would have thought of.
I don't remember much of that part except the poor kid kept trying to ask me questions in the middle of a contraction. I doubt I was very nice to him at that time. We got up stairs and into a room where I was attended by a couple of nurses and midwives while we waited for the doctor yet to get there. Unfortunately the doctor I worked with my whole pregnancy just happened to be off. Luckily the on-call doctor is someone I really like as well. They might as well be the same person; though they do call him a midwife in a man's body LOL. He quietly stood by assessing how I was doing and gave encouragement when needed. He didn't need to step in to often as my mother, husband, doula and a nurse were all in the room.
The contraction were on top of each other. They came fast and hard. Luckily I had a great team. They kept me going through each one. In between I fell asleep. I could feel my eyes rolling back. My husband supporting my weight from behind so I can rest. At one point the nurse told me to stand up and hang on my husband. When they finally got me off the bed and hanging on him, I spent an hour using him physically to get through it each time they hit. My poor husband. It's a good thing he's a big guy because he bore my weight for a full hour. I have to admit that it was really comforting to just hold onto him. He was so amazing through the whole process.
I think husbands and fathers just don't get enough credit. Often they are portrayed as impatient, lazy, annoying and useless. Mine was not. He was phenomenal.
Then came time to push. It was the weirdest feeling. Ever have to go to the bathroom really bad but your sorta constipated? Yeah it was like that times 10. I got back on the bed and started to push. It was odd. That was when I noticed the waves came in threes. The first wave hurt more in my stomach and I felt like I couldn't get under it. I pushed with the second and third wave, and I was tired by the end of each contraction.
That's when the nurse stepped in and started telling me how to get through it. At one point she told me "Come on Claire, the doc is coming. Show him something impressive!", "Well that is a wussy push. Come on give it a good Irish push!". If I hadn't been in the middle of a contraction I would have laughed. In my head I kept thinking, why can't I get this kid out?! The nurse gave me a mask and I breathed it in, but every time I did I felt like I was falling asleep instantly. I kept wondering if they gave me nitrus. It was the new way to give pain medication without having to take conventional drugs.
Finally I had enough and I started to get into a good rhythm. I wasn't going to push for hour on end. I just wanted it done. I wanted to hold my baby. They kept telling me they could see the head and I just needed a couple of good pushes to get the baby out. I felt a burning that made me want to stop, but the doctor wouldn't let me. He stood next to me and helped me push past the pain.
FINALLY THE BABY WAS OUT!!
I had done it. They whipped the baby off the bed and straight onto my chest. We had chosen to not find out the sex and no one looked so I did. I lifted the little leg and got to announce to the room that we had another baby girl! My baby girl was here!
We welcomed Saoirse Ann with the dawn after about 6 hours of labor and pushing.
After a few minutes I handed her over to her Daddy while the doc assessed me. 3rd degree tears that required extensive stitching. I did my entire labor and birth without any type of drugs. The mask the nurse gave me earlier was actually oxygen.The doc gave me the option and without hesitating I said yes to pain meds and getting numbed. After that long night I was not willing to get my vagina stitched up without meds.
What I found out later was that Saoirse was born in her caul! My water never broke. It is something unique and amazing.
I am so grateful I had the team I had. They were all amazing. They each helped me in their own way. Even though Saoirse is my second daughter, she was my first vaginal birth. I got to experience creating a life, feeling her move inside of me, and then delivering her without meds, without interventions. It was amazing. Granted I had a hard time walking due to the tearing and stitching, but in the end it will actually help me in the future.
It has been 3 weeks today since my family expanded from 4 to 5 (including the dog!) and we are settling in just fine. The dog barely glanced at her, Fiona thinks the baby was created for her, and I'm healing well. My husband continues to be a great help (though of course there are times I want to throw something at him like any other mom with a new baby).
There was a lot of collaboration with various people throughout the year and the journey ended with my beautiful baby.
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