So I planned a visit to my sister in California. I was a little worried because I wasn't sure how I was going to travel to the opposite side of the country... literally across the country (RI to CA!!) with a 6 week old and a 2.5 year old. It was quite the experience.
So let me start with booking the ticket. My husband booked our tickets and we had it all set. Unfortunately we had a family emergency that had us booking an earlier flight at 10pm at night. We thought we were all set until the next day he called back to confirm that our infant was listed in the information. As it turns out, they never confirmed the ticket! I would NOT have been happy if I showed up for my flight and we didn't have a confirmed seat on a very full plane.
That should have told me how this flight was going to go. Now I had everything all planned out. I had my stroller. I planned to use the bassinet in the airport, use the toddler carseat on the plane and check the infant car seat. This would allow me to check the infant car seat and check the stroller and bassinet at the gate.
As we are getting our tickets they decide to tell me that they will not allow me to take my stroller with me. Only collapsible 20 pound strollers allowed. I questioned this policy as i had just flown with them in May. The 2 ladies told me that it was a new policy. I was absolutely livid. How did they expect me to travel through my connection with 2 babies and a 50 pound carseat?? They didn't care at all. My husband is a very frequent flyer with them and he was so upset he has decided to use other airlines.
I posted about it on a popular stroller site just to find out that this was in fact a stated policy on their website for the last several years. The problem is that they choose when to enforce the policy. Many of the women expressed their displeasure with this airline because in one airport they will enforce it but on the return flight they don't. It is all based on the airport. There is no consistency and obviously no care for families. They used to allow families to board first but that has since gone away as well.
Anyway, I get to the connection airport where the flight attendants and gate agents have never heard of this policy. One woman helped me get the heavy carseat to the gate where I took over and found a luggage cart I could rent for $5 for the 2 hours I was there. I wouldn't have had to spend the money if I'd had my stroller but it was worth it since I had my infant in my shirt like carrier (Nestingdays.com) and my toddler on my back in my Ergo carrier.
I don't normally travel with a car seat on the plane but it was probably the best thing I could have done. Once I was able to get on the plane I got the seat and kid buckled in and we were ready to rock. It was a decent flight with her unable to get out other seat. I doubt I'll fly without it again.
The second plane I got on in Philly I met 2 amazing flight attendants who made sure my toddler and I were sitting next to each other. They helped me get settled into our seats and when we landed they allowed me to stay put until we took off again. It was a good flight. The people around me were nice about my infant crying. The gentleman who sat next to me was pleasant. It's always a relief.
When we took off a third time I sat next to this wonderful lady. I never got her name but she was my kind of people. A Physical Therapist getting married at a bed and breakfast to a HS teacher under the summer solstice on a Wednesday next June. She played with my babies and talked to them and was just the sweetest person. I can only wish her the happiest blessings on her career and marriage.
When we landed the same two attendants were beyond wonderful. They helped me bring my carseat down to baggage claim where I met my sister. They were pleasant the whole time, they talked to us and helped me, a person traveling alone with two small children.
Despite the rough start it was not that bad of a trip. Now hopefully the return will be better...
Friday, October 14, 2016
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Home Party Businesses
I recently saw a post from a mom blogger about how much she hates the invites to home parties and then feels as if they try to guilt her if she doesn't buy anything. I have to admit that I was really annoyed by this. In a world where pre-school is now more expensive than college per year, daycare takes most of our paychecks and we are forced to decide whether or not we go back to work.
For many families having one partner stay home makes more sense than both working and spending so much money on daycare and pre-school. That doesn't mean being full time Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. Several family members are stay at home moms (SAHM) and their schedule makes me dizzy, but some people thrive on working a job.
So how do you do what is best for your family and still get the satisfaction of working? You join a home party business. You become a consultant for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Athena's Home Novelties, or a million other ones that are out there. In my case I chose Melaleuca. I don't sell products just enroll memberships.
Yes sometimes being added to groups without your permission can be annoying and you'll have that one friend who adds you to everything. You have to be straightforward with that friend. You have to tell them (nicely) that you would prefer to be asked rather than just randomly added.
Support these Mamas (and Papas). Support them in trying to make a living selling decent products. It is NOT easy to reach out to friends and family and ask them to at least listen to your "pitch". Even if you aren't interested you can still pass on their info. You never know who might be interested.
So instead of being angry and rolling your eyes just check it out. I did. I avoided Jamberry for a long time and then I sucked in by the promise of a baby free night. Now I love them and I'm glad I gave it a chance. You might be too.
For many families having one partner stay home makes more sense than both working and spending so much money on daycare and pre-school. That doesn't mean being full time Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. Several family members are stay at home moms (SAHM) and their schedule makes me dizzy, but some people thrive on working a job.
So how do you do what is best for your family and still get the satisfaction of working? You join a home party business. You become a consultant for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Athena's Home Novelties, or a million other ones that are out there. In my case I chose Melaleuca. I don't sell products just enroll memberships.
Yes sometimes being added to groups without your permission can be annoying and you'll have that one friend who adds you to everything. You have to be straightforward with that friend. You have to tell them (nicely) that you would prefer to be asked rather than just randomly added.
Support these Mamas (and Papas). Support them in trying to make a living selling decent products. It is NOT easy to reach out to friends and family and ask them to at least listen to your "pitch". Even if you aren't interested you can still pass on their info. You never know who might be interested.
So instead of being angry and rolling your eyes just check it out. I did. I avoided Jamberry for a long time and then I sucked in by the promise of a baby free night. Now I love them and I'm glad I gave it a chance. You might be too.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
and the Days Roll On...
I went out on maternity leave a week before my due date just to have my newest girl arrive 12 days late. She is now 5 weeks old and my days roll into each. Time gets away from me and before I know it the day is done.
Anyone feel like that? Where the heck did my day go? It's amazing how fast your days go by when you aren't doing anything except keeping little humans alive...
Anyone feel like that? Where the heck did my day go? It's amazing how fast your days go by when you aren't doing anything except keeping little humans alive...
Thursday, September 22, 2016
My Birth Story is Not Your Birth Story
Every person, every pregnancy and every baby is so very different. Comparing people to each other or to your self is not productive. I know. I know. You've probably heard "You're so (small, big). I was ______. It's annoying isn't it? Especially if you are 5'2 and the person saying this to you is 6'2 or vice versa.
When I was pregnant with my first I gained 32 pounds and people constantly told me I was really small and was I sure everything was ok. At least until the last month when I gained a lot of water weight. With my second I was all belly, but by the time I reached 6 months people kept making comments like "You're so big. You'll be as big as a house by the time you're ready to go." and "Don't have it here!". I gained about 50 pounds this time. I had stretch marks that I didn't have the first time. I had different pains, cravings etc.
My point is that I'm just one person and my two pregnancies were totally different.
I lost count trying to figure out how many of my friends who were due this year alone. I think I stopped at 33 people. Some are first time moms, some are second time around like me and others are on their 3rd, 4th, or 5th child. Each one of these women is built different. their bodies, their health, their structure. Get it? Totally different. Some have singles and some have twins. Some are in their early 20's and some are mid 40's.
With all these differences how can someone believe they can actually compare two women together when you can't even compare pregnancies in a single person!
Now that we have that out of the way...
I have two children and I've had two types of deliveries. My first was a belly birth. She was a scheduled c-section due to being breech and growth restricted. My baby was a peanut. We actually chose her birth day. She was born in a half an hour from when we got started. An hour max from when they brought me to the OR.
My second baby (who will be one month this Saturday!) was an un-medicated vaginal birth.with no interventions (unless you count an attempted membrane sweep. What do I mean? Please see the post on my birth story.). Full active labor and pushing was 6.5 hours.
Even my recoveries with both were vastly different.
There are so many ways to have the birth that you want or that is best for you. You know what they say about best laid plans...
Listen, plan your perfect scenario. Plan how you imagine it going. I don't care how crazy it is Imagine what you want even if it is hanging upside down on a trapeze. Lay it all out. How much if any interventions do you want (pain killers, nitrous, episiotomy, etc)? Do you want a home birth, hospital, birthing center? What is available in your area?
All these things affect how your labor and birth will go. The resources I had, and continued to pursue allowed me to have a positive birth experience with both of my girls. The first didn't go as planned but because of the amazing care I received (after I switched to a new provider at 36 weeks!) I was happy in the end. You need to do the same. Lay out your plans and then write down the things that can change it. If you are prepared that it might change and not be your perfect scenario then you continue to hold the power to the best birth possible. You cannot be disappointed or feel that you failed in how things go if you are already accepting that things can change.
Don't listen to others who are eager to share the gruesome details of their own. Don't let anyone scare you. Being scared will not serve you in any way shape or form. Don't compare your pregnancy to someone else.
You are your own beautiful person. Be the best you can and bring that wonderful little human into the world in the best way for YOU without the chatter of others.
When I was pregnant with my first I gained 32 pounds and people constantly told me I was really small and was I sure everything was ok. At least until the last month when I gained a lot of water weight. With my second I was all belly, but by the time I reached 6 months people kept making comments like "You're so big. You'll be as big as a house by the time you're ready to go." and "Don't have it here!". I gained about 50 pounds this time. I had stretch marks that I didn't have the first time. I had different pains, cravings etc.
My point is that I'm just one person and my two pregnancies were totally different.
I lost count trying to figure out how many of my friends who were due this year alone. I think I stopped at 33 people. Some are first time moms, some are second time around like me and others are on their 3rd, 4th, or 5th child. Each one of these women is built different. their bodies, their health, their structure. Get it? Totally different. Some have singles and some have twins. Some are in their early 20's and some are mid 40's.
With all these differences how can someone believe they can actually compare two women together when you can't even compare pregnancies in a single person!
Now that we have that out of the way...
I have two children and I've had two types of deliveries. My first was a belly birth. She was a scheduled c-section due to being breech and growth restricted. My baby was a peanut. We actually chose her birth day. She was born in a half an hour from when we got started. An hour max from when they brought me to the OR.
My second baby (who will be one month this Saturday!) was an un-medicated vaginal birth.with no interventions (unless you count an attempted membrane sweep. What do I mean? Please see the post on my birth story.). Full active labor and pushing was 6.5 hours.
Even my recoveries with both were vastly different.
There are so many ways to have the birth that you want or that is best for you. You know what they say about best laid plans...
Listen, plan your perfect scenario. Plan how you imagine it going. I don't care how crazy it is Imagine what you want even if it is hanging upside down on a trapeze. Lay it all out. How much if any interventions do you want (pain killers, nitrous, episiotomy, etc)? Do you want a home birth, hospital, birthing center? What is available in your area?
All these things affect how your labor and birth will go. The resources I had, and continued to pursue allowed me to have a positive birth experience with both of my girls. The first didn't go as planned but because of the amazing care I received (after I switched to a new provider at 36 weeks!) I was happy in the end. You need to do the same. Lay out your plans and then write down the things that can change it. If you are prepared that it might change and not be your perfect scenario then you continue to hold the power to the best birth possible. You cannot be disappointed or feel that you failed in how things go if you are already accepting that things can change.
Don't listen to others who are eager to share the gruesome details of their own. Don't let anyone scare you. Being scared will not serve you in any way shape or form. Don't compare your pregnancy to someone else.
You are your own beautiful person. Be the best you can and bring that wonderful little human into the world in the best way for YOU without the chatter of others.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Why I Chose a Doula
Whenever I mention that I chose to have a doula for my birth, I get asked what it is. According to DONA International "The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and information support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period".
The basic definition is that a doula is a birth coach. They help the mom understand her what her options and choices are concerning her care and her birth experience. Sadly in the US we still have medical care providers that believe they have total control over our bodies and the babies we carry within them.
Being one of the last of my friends and family to have a baby I thought I knew quite a bit, but after hiring my doula Merav she showed me a whole new world. I had no idea there was so much involved. The sheet she handed me with procedures listed that I may or may not want to have done. Seriously, the sheet was covered front and back. I was shocked. I knew I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. Yeah that didn't work out. I ended up with a c-section or as I like to call it, a belly birth.
Merav called me one day and told me that she got accepted to nursing school (yay her!) and that she could continue to be my doula with a backup or she could just recommend someone else. I chose to stick with her and meet her backup Lisa (who is now going to school to become a midwife!). I was in touch with both of them equally and when I found out the date of my c-section it turned out that I would have Lisa with me. Did I really need her in the surgery room? Probably not, but I'm still glad she was there. It was her voice I remember through the haze of the anesthesia. It wasn't supposed to knock me out, but I take a little to well to it so I was pretty hazy through most of the surgery. My husband was there and I just remember the 2 of them saying supporting things and telling me what was going on. It was my husband who told me we had a girl.
We developed a relationship with Lisa. We worked together when we tried to save the Birthing Center in the hospital I had my first daughter in. She was the one I contacted when I got pregnant with my second. Merav was and still is amazing, but Lisa and I just seemed to click. She became a friend. She did my maternity pictures, she was there throughout my VBAC with my second daughter and she did her newborn pictures.
Sometimes your doula becomes more than just the woman (or man) who helps your husband not stand there like a deer in headlights or updates family members or even keeps unwanted family members out of the room (sometimes mom, step-mom or MIL want to be in the room and laboring mom doesn't want anyone but doc and partner). Sometimes they become a friend.
They can hep you through unknown territory and ease your experience, and mind. There is no place for stress during labor!
Contact your local doula association today. In RI we have Doulas of Rhode Island. Get the info and decide for yourself if you want the extra support!
The basic definition is that a doula is a birth coach. They help the mom understand her what her options and choices are concerning her care and her birth experience. Sadly in the US we still have medical care providers that believe they have total control over our bodies and the babies we carry within them.
Being one of the last of my friends and family to have a baby I thought I knew quite a bit, but after hiring my doula Merav she showed me a whole new world. I had no idea there was so much involved. The sheet she handed me with procedures listed that I may or may not want to have done. Seriously, the sheet was covered front and back. I was shocked. I knew I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. Yeah that didn't work out. I ended up with a c-section or as I like to call it, a belly birth.
Merav called me one day and told me that she got accepted to nursing school (yay her!) and that she could continue to be my doula with a backup or she could just recommend someone else. I chose to stick with her and meet her backup Lisa (who is now going to school to become a midwife!). I was in touch with both of them equally and when I found out the date of my c-section it turned out that I would have Lisa with me. Did I really need her in the surgery room? Probably not, but I'm still glad she was there. It was her voice I remember through the haze of the anesthesia. It wasn't supposed to knock me out, but I take a little to well to it so I was pretty hazy through most of the surgery. My husband was there and I just remember the 2 of them saying supporting things and telling me what was going on. It was my husband who told me we had a girl.
We developed a relationship with Lisa. We worked together when we tried to save the Birthing Center in the hospital I had my first daughter in. She was the one I contacted when I got pregnant with my second. Merav was and still is amazing, but Lisa and I just seemed to click. She became a friend. She did my maternity pictures, she was there throughout my VBAC with my second daughter and she did her newborn pictures.
Sometimes your doula becomes more than just the woman (or man) who helps your husband not stand there like a deer in headlights or updates family members or even keeps unwanted family members out of the room (sometimes mom, step-mom or MIL want to be in the room and laboring mom doesn't want anyone but doc and partner). Sometimes they become a friend.
They can hep you through unknown territory and ease your experience, and mind. There is no place for stress during labor!
Contact your local doula association today. In RI we have Doulas of Rhode Island. Get the info and decide for yourself if you want the extra support!
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Placenta Pills
It sounds weird right? Placenta encapsulation. It seems fairly straightforward but people are either hesitant to ask or they flat out ask WTF is that?!
So most people know that when you have a baby there is also the placenta. The placenta is full of all kinds of goodness. It replaces a lot that your body loses... such as hormones. According to BellyBelly the practice of ingesting the placenta goes back 1500 years!
"I will bet those who joke about it don’t even realise that placentas have been used in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) as long ago as in the 1500s, which is longer than modern medicine has even existed. It’s been continued to be used due to an abundance of great properties believed to make a huge difference to a new mother’s mental health, recovery and well being. - See more at: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/placenta-encapsulation/"
I know many women who chose to take them because it replaces the hormones you instantly lost when you had the baby. You think you're emotions are out of whack when preggo? Try re-balancing after Baby is born. I had them for my first and I knew that I wanted them this time around.
I lost a lot of blood. Enough that my blood count and behavior was watched but not enough to consider a transfusion. When I left the hospital I was 4 prescriptions. Ibuprofen, Tylenol with codeine (which I still haven't taken), stool softener, and iron pills. I also had my placenta pills. I take all but the Tylenol twice a day. Having the placenta pills has helped.
Keep in mind that every placenta is different. With my first I got 78 pills. With my second I got 176. It just depends on the baby.
Now Shelley, the woman who made mine after both pregnancies, has become a midwife!
I'm so proud to know that the supportive women in my life are choosing to take the next step in women's care and giving us so many beautiful options.
If you have more questions I suggest you find your local person and ask them questions. We only have 2 in RI so they fill up quick!
So most people know that when you have a baby there is also the placenta. The placenta is full of all kinds of goodness. It replaces a lot that your body loses... such as hormones. According to BellyBelly the practice of ingesting the placenta goes back 1500 years!
"I will bet those who joke about it don’t even realise that placentas have been used in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) as long ago as in the 1500s, which is longer than modern medicine has even existed. It’s been continued to be used due to an abundance of great properties believed to make a huge difference to a new mother’s mental health, recovery and well being. - See more at: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/placenta-encapsulation/"
I know many women who chose to take them because it replaces the hormones you instantly lost when you had the baby. You think you're emotions are out of whack when preggo? Try re-balancing after Baby is born. I had them for my first and I knew that I wanted them this time around.
I lost a lot of blood. Enough that my blood count and behavior was watched but not enough to consider a transfusion. When I left the hospital I was 4 prescriptions. Ibuprofen, Tylenol with codeine (which I still haven't taken), stool softener, and iron pills. I also had my placenta pills. I take all but the Tylenol twice a day. Having the placenta pills has helped.
Keep in mind that every placenta is different. With my first I got 78 pills. With my second I got 176. It just depends on the baby.
Now Shelley, the woman who made mine after both pregnancies, has become a midwife!
I'm so proud to know that the supportive women in my life are choosing to take the next step in women's care and giving us so many beautiful options.
If you have more questions I suggest you find your local person and ask them questions. We only have 2 in RI so they fill up quick!
Saturday, September 17, 2016
Welcoming My Newest Family Member
Previously I had mentioned that I was late into my pregnancy and just waiting for my due date to arrive so that we could meet babe #2. We waited and we waited... and we waited. We waited for 12 days past the due date!
My story starts with me leaving the hospital 2.5 years ago knowing I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My daughter was breach and growth restricted. Having a cesarean section is not an easy thing to do. It is a major surgery and is not used lightly (at least not anymore). I spent 6 weeks unable to sleep anywhere but the couch and in pain every time I laughed, coughed or sneezed. Not fun.
Fast forward 20 months and I'm pregnant with my second child. I immediately went back to the doctor who performed my c-section. Why? Well she is amazing. She is a family doc and her partner is an OB. The thing is, my doctors are very much about supporting the woman in her needs. They do not believe on forcing their own views on the mother they are working with. They give all options and recommendations based on each individual person. I found a team that would support my decisions, but would have no problem being upfront if they think my decisions will affect my health or my growing baby's health.
Lucky me! I have a fairly uneventful pregnancy. One little blip but that was it. I pass all my tests. I'm still working.
Yup I'm working right up until the week before I'm due. People think I'm crazy, but what am I supposed to do? I need to work and if I'm on light duty I would go crazy with boredom.Yes I was on my feet and yes I was picking up bags weighing 10-75 pounds but it kept me in shape and healthy. I don't go to the gym and work out... I go to work.
Fast forward to August 7th and it's my first day of maternity leave. I really didn't know what to do with myself. It's a Sunday and my 2.5 year old was surprised that I was home. The week passed uneventfully. I continued to do stuff with my daughter. We hung out with friends, saw family and finally My due date arrived.
Of course the messages started arriving in the afternoon. "No baby yet?", "When are you having the baby?", "How long will they let you go?", "Let us know when it's happening.". My answer was the same every time. Baby will come when it's ready. I continued to say this for days. I did tell my doctor that I thought the baby would be late and sure enough she was a stubborn one.
I went back at 41 weeks. We talked about a membrane sweep but I just wasn't ready. So we decided that we would go back in on Friday and do the sweep if Baby didn't make an appearance. Thursday I felt a few tiny contractions and it gave me hope, but we still ended up back at the hospital Friday.
This is the not so fun part...
My doc wanted to do a check and a membrane sweep to see if it would help. As my doc prepared, I had to as well. To me it is something that would either be super uncomfortable or would just plain hurt. The second she started probing with one finger I immediately flinched. The second that happened she knew immediately what was wrong. Apparently I have something called Vaginal Tenesmus. I won't bore you with the fancy details, but basically my muscles involuntarily clamp down during any type of "invasion". It' a smooth muscle thing and I can't control it. It's probably also the reason I hadn't gone into labor yet. My muscles were just too darn tight to let anything start happening (so all those kegals over the years were a total waste apparently...). She wiggled a bit further and was able to feel Baby's head. She couldn't really do the full sweep, but what little she was able to do... boy did it get things started.
On the way home I noticed the twinges starting. Throughout the night they got more noticeable. By 7pm they were every 40 minutes apart. That was fine. What did I do? Put my baby to bed and did my nails and my moms nails. Thank you Jamberry for an easy manicure! I chose Tartan. I am a warrior!
I attempted to get some sleep about 10 but every time I would start to fall asleep a contraction would happen strong enough to make me sit straight up! By 11pm my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart lasting 45-60 seconds. I was on my hands and knees in the bathroom. I couldn't get through them any other way. After the first hour I woke my mom up. The second hour I woke my husband up and told him to call his parents.
I spent the next half hour laboring outside on my porch staring at the pink crescent moon, with my mom and my doula while my husband made sure the van was ready to go. You would think I would have done that earlier. Yeah no.... good thing we had some time. We heard a weird noise and my mom ran upstairs to check it out thinking it was my toddler waking up. When she got upstairs it turned out that my chihuahua was sitting on the couch whining because she didn't know what was going on. My poor dog. Your mom grabbed it and brought it downstairs so she wouldn't be alone.
My in-laws pulled up and we barely said hello. I ran to the back of the van when my mom handed my mother-in-law the dog LOL. The drive to the hospital is a 30 minute drive and I wasn't sure how I was going to get through 30 minutes in the back of the van trying to get through contractions. I was on my hands and knees in the back of the van the entire time because I just couldn't do anything else. Every time I tried it was just too much. I would think that I would finally get a chance to sit just to be right back on my hands and knees yelling and trying to keep my voice in low tones to get through a contraction.
As it turns out I didn't need to worry about a 30 minute drive. My husband managed to make it in 12 minutes. Apparently my moans and screams were motivation for him to get me to the hospital! My poor doula was following us the whole way.
We got into the emergency room where was a complete Ghost Town. Not a single patient was in there. It was a very odd feeling but a couple of minutes later an employee came out with a wheelchair. At first they wanted to admit me to the ER but my husband demanded to know where our doctor was. Luckily a nurse from labor and delivery came down and told them to get me upstairs right away because they had been waiting for me. My mother and husband were smart enough to call ahead and let them know that we were coming. It isn't something I would have thought of.
I don't remember much of that part except the poor kid kept trying to ask me questions in the middle of a contraction. I doubt I was very nice to him at that time. We got up stairs and into a room where I was attended by a couple of nurses and midwives while we waited for the doctor yet to get there. Unfortunately the doctor I worked with my whole pregnancy just happened to be off. Luckily the on-call doctor is someone I really like as well. They might as well be the same person; though they do call him a midwife in a man's body LOL. He quietly stood by assessing how I was doing and gave encouragement when needed. He didn't need to step in to often as my mother, husband, doula and a nurse were all in the room.
The contraction were on top of each other. They came fast and hard. Luckily I had a great team. They kept me going through each one. In between I fell asleep. I could feel my eyes rolling back. My husband supporting my weight from behind so I can rest. At one point the nurse told me to stand up and hang on my husband. When they finally got me off the bed and hanging on him, I spent an hour using him physically to get through it each time they hit. My poor husband. It's a good thing he's a big guy because he bore my weight for a full hour. I have to admit that it was really comforting to just hold onto him. He was so amazing through the whole process.
I think husbands and fathers just don't get enough credit. Often they are portrayed as impatient, lazy, annoying and useless. Mine was not. He was phenomenal.
Then came time to push. It was the weirdest feeling. Ever have to go to the bathroom really bad but your sorta constipated? Yeah it was like that times 10. I got back on the bed and started to push. It was odd. That was when I noticed the waves came in threes. The first wave hurt more in my stomach and I felt like I couldn't get under it. I pushed with the second and third wave, and I was tired by the end of each contraction.
That's when the nurse stepped in and started telling me how to get through it. At one point she told me "Come on Claire, the doc is coming. Show him something impressive!", "Well that is a wussy push. Come on give it a good Irish push!". If I hadn't been in the middle of a contraction I would have laughed. In my head I kept thinking, why can't I get this kid out?! The nurse gave me a mask and I breathed it in, but every time I did I felt like I was falling asleep instantly. I kept wondering if they gave me nitrus. It was the new way to give pain medication without having to take conventional drugs.
Finally I had enough and I started to get into a good rhythm. I wasn't going to push for hour on end. I just wanted it done. I wanted to hold my baby. They kept telling me they could see the head and I just needed a couple of good pushes to get the baby out. I felt a burning that made me want to stop, but the doctor wouldn't let me. He stood next to me and helped me push past the pain.
FINALLY THE BABY WAS OUT!!
I had done it. They whipped the baby off the bed and straight onto my chest. We had chosen to not find out the sex and no one looked so I did. I lifted the little leg and got to announce to the room that we had another baby girl! My baby girl was here!
We welcomed Saoirse Ann with the dawn after about 6 hours of labor and pushing.
After a few minutes I handed her over to her Daddy while the doc assessed me. 3rd degree tears that required extensive stitching. I did my entire labor and birth without any type of drugs. The mask the nurse gave me earlier was actually oxygen.The doc gave me the option and without hesitating I said yes to pain meds and getting numbed. After that long night I was not willing to get my vagina stitched up without meds.
What I found out later was that Saoirse was born in her caul! My water never broke. It is something unique and amazing.
I am so grateful I had the team I had. They were all amazing. They each helped me in their own way. Even though Saoirse is my second daughter, she was my first vaginal birth. I got to experience creating a life, feeling her move inside of me, and then delivering her without meds, without interventions. It was amazing. Granted I had a hard time walking due to the tearing and stitching, but in the end it will actually help me in the future.
It has been 3 weeks today since my family expanded from 4 to 5 (including the dog!) and we are settling in just fine. The dog barely glanced at her, Fiona thinks the baby was created for her, and I'm healing well. My husband continues to be a great help (though of course there are times I want to throw something at him like any other mom with a new baby).
There was a lot of collaboration with various people throughout the year and the journey ended with my beautiful baby.
My story starts with me leaving the hospital 2.5 years ago knowing I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). My daughter was breach and growth restricted. Having a cesarean section is not an easy thing to do. It is a major surgery and is not used lightly (at least not anymore). I spent 6 weeks unable to sleep anywhere but the couch and in pain every time I laughed, coughed or sneezed. Not fun.
Fast forward 20 months and I'm pregnant with my second child. I immediately went back to the doctor who performed my c-section. Why? Well she is amazing. She is a family doc and her partner is an OB. The thing is, my doctors are very much about supporting the woman in her needs. They do not believe on forcing their own views on the mother they are working with. They give all options and recommendations based on each individual person. I found a team that would support my decisions, but would have no problem being upfront if they think my decisions will affect my health or my growing baby's health.
Lucky me! I have a fairly uneventful pregnancy. One little blip but that was it. I pass all my tests. I'm still working.
Yup I'm working right up until the week before I'm due. People think I'm crazy, but what am I supposed to do? I need to work and if I'm on light duty I would go crazy with boredom.Yes I was on my feet and yes I was picking up bags weighing 10-75 pounds but it kept me in shape and healthy. I don't go to the gym and work out... I go to work.
Fast forward to August 7th and it's my first day of maternity leave. I really didn't know what to do with myself. It's a Sunday and my 2.5 year old was surprised that I was home. The week passed uneventfully. I continued to do stuff with my daughter. We hung out with friends, saw family and finally My due date arrived.
Of course the messages started arriving in the afternoon. "No baby yet?", "When are you having the baby?", "How long will they let you go?", "Let us know when it's happening.". My answer was the same every time. Baby will come when it's ready. I continued to say this for days. I did tell my doctor that I thought the baby would be late and sure enough she was a stubborn one.
I went back at 41 weeks. We talked about a membrane sweep but I just wasn't ready. So we decided that we would go back in on Friday and do the sweep if Baby didn't make an appearance. Thursday I felt a few tiny contractions and it gave me hope, but we still ended up back at the hospital Friday.
This is the not so fun part...
My doc wanted to do a check and a membrane sweep to see if it would help. As my doc prepared, I had to as well. To me it is something that would either be super uncomfortable or would just plain hurt. The second she started probing with one finger I immediately flinched. The second that happened she knew immediately what was wrong. Apparently I have something called Vaginal Tenesmus. I won't bore you with the fancy details, but basically my muscles involuntarily clamp down during any type of "invasion". It' a smooth muscle thing and I can't control it. It's probably also the reason I hadn't gone into labor yet. My muscles were just too darn tight to let anything start happening (so all those kegals over the years were a total waste apparently...). She wiggled a bit further and was able to feel Baby's head. She couldn't really do the full sweep, but what little she was able to do... boy did it get things started.
On the way home I noticed the twinges starting. Throughout the night they got more noticeable. By 7pm they were every 40 minutes apart. That was fine. What did I do? Put my baby to bed and did my nails and my moms nails. Thank you Jamberry for an easy manicure! I chose Tartan. I am a warrior!
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| Tartan by Jamberry |
I spent the next half hour laboring outside on my porch staring at the pink crescent moon, with my mom and my doula while my husband made sure the van was ready to go. You would think I would have done that earlier. Yeah no.... good thing we had some time. We heard a weird noise and my mom ran upstairs to check it out thinking it was my toddler waking up. When she got upstairs it turned out that my chihuahua was sitting on the couch whining because she didn't know what was going on. My poor dog. Your mom grabbed it and brought it downstairs so she wouldn't be alone.
My in-laws pulled up and we barely said hello. I ran to the back of the van when my mom handed my mother-in-law the dog LOL. The drive to the hospital is a 30 minute drive and I wasn't sure how I was going to get through 30 minutes in the back of the van trying to get through contractions. I was on my hands and knees in the back of the van the entire time because I just couldn't do anything else. Every time I tried it was just too much. I would think that I would finally get a chance to sit just to be right back on my hands and knees yelling and trying to keep my voice in low tones to get through a contraction.
As it turns out I didn't need to worry about a 30 minute drive. My husband managed to make it in 12 minutes. Apparently my moans and screams were motivation for him to get me to the hospital! My poor doula was following us the whole way.
We got into the emergency room where was a complete Ghost Town. Not a single patient was in there. It was a very odd feeling but a couple of minutes later an employee came out with a wheelchair. At first they wanted to admit me to the ER but my husband demanded to know where our doctor was. Luckily a nurse from labor and delivery came down and told them to get me upstairs right away because they had been waiting for me. My mother and husband were smart enough to call ahead and let them know that we were coming. It isn't something I would have thought of.
I don't remember much of that part except the poor kid kept trying to ask me questions in the middle of a contraction. I doubt I was very nice to him at that time. We got up stairs and into a room where I was attended by a couple of nurses and midwives while we waited for the doctor yet to get there. Unfortunately the doctor I worked with my whole pregnancy just happened to be off. Luckily the on-call doctor is someone I really like as well. They might as well be the same person; though they do call him a midwife in a man's body LOL. He quietly stood by assessing how I was doing and gave encouragement when needed. He didn't need to step in to often as my mother, husband, doula and a nurse were all in the room.
The contraction were on top of each other. They came fast and hard. Luckily I had a great team. They kept me going through each one. In between I fell asleep. I could feel my eyes rolling back. My husband supporting my weight from behind so I can rest. At one point the nurse told me to stand up and hang on my husband. When they finally got me off the bed and hanging on him, I spent an hour using him physically to get through it each time they hit. My poor husband. It's a good thing he's a big guy because he bore my weight for a full hour. I have to admit that it was really comforting to just hold onto him. He was so amazing through the whole process.
I think husbands and fathers just don't get enough credit. Often they are portrayed as impatient, lazy, annoying and useless. Mine was not. He was phenomenal.
Then came time to push. It was the weirdest feeling. Ever have to go to the bathroom really bad but your sorta constipated? Yeah it was like that times 10. I got back on the bed and started to push. It was odd. That was when I noticed the waves came in threes. The first wave hurt more in my stomach and I felt like I couldn't get under it. I pushed with the second and third wave, and I was tired by the end of each contraction.
That's when the nurse stepped in and started telling me how to get through it. At one point she told me "Come on Claire, the doc is coming. Show him something impressive!", "Well that is a wussy push. Come on give it a good Irish push!". If I hadn't been in the middle of a contraction I would have laughed. In my head I kept thinking, why can't I get this kid out?! The nurse gave me a mask and I breathed it in, but every time I did I felt like I was falling asleep instantly. I kept wondering if they gave me nitrus. It was the new way to give pain medication without having to take conventional drugs.
Finally I had enough and I started to get into a good rhythm. I wasn't going to push for hour on end. I just wanted it done. I wanted to hold my baby. They kept telling me they could see the head and I just needed a couple of good pushes to get the baby out. I felt a burning that made me want to stop, but the doctor wouldn't let me. He stood next to me and helped me push past the pain.
FINALLY THE BABY WAS OUT!!
I had done it. They whipped the baby off the bed and straight onto my chest. We had chosen to not find out the sex and no one looked so I did. I lifted the little leg and got to announce to the room that we had another baby girl! My baby girl was here!
We welcomed Saoirse Ann with the dawn after about 6 hours of labor and pushing.
After a few minutes I handed her over to her Daddy while the doc assessed me. 3rd degree tears that required extensive stitching. I did my entire labor and birth without any type of drugs. The mask the nurse gave me earlier was actually oxygen.The doc gave me the option and without hesitating I said yes to pain meds and getting numbed. After that long night I was not willing to get my vagina stitched up without meds.
What I found out later was that Saoirse was born in her caul! My water never broke. It is something unique and amazing.
I am so grateful I had the team I had. They were all amazing. They each helped me in their own way. Even though Saoirse is my second daughter, she was my first vaginal birth. I got to experience creating a life, feeling her move inside of me, and then delivering her without meds, without interventions. It was amazing. Granted I had a hard time walking due to the tearing and stitching, but in the end it will actually help me in the future.
It has been 3 weeks today since my family expanded from 4 to 5 (including the dog!) and we are settling in just fine. The dog barely glanced at her, Fiona thinks the baby was created for her, and I'm healing well. My husband continues to be a great help (though of course there are times I want to throw something at him like any other mom with a new baby).
There was a lot of collaboration with various people throughout the year and the journey ended with my beautiful baby.
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