So a few months ago Rhode Island had the Leggings Debacle. An older gay man (yes it was important to the story at the time to note his sexual orientation) wrote a letter to the editor talking about how women over college age should definitely not be wearing leggings outside the house...ever. You can imagine how well that went down. I mean, in today's world women, most notably, stay at home moms, throw on whatever is comfortable and doesn't look like pajamas. The leggings craze was then born.
So over the last several years the unofficial symbol of the mom who just needed to get out of the house have been sporting yoga gear. They are easy to spot. Yoga pants/leggings, t-shirt, sneakers and a baseball cap typically with the hair in a pony tail. It was everywhere. It didn't matter if you were a SAHM, working mom on your day off, just running an errand, meeting a friend, the list can go on. It became such a craze that it became the focus of memes, poking fun and straight up nasty commentary.
I was one of the haters. I had to wonder if women over 40 who didn't actually practice yoga were just trying to look younger since all the 20 and 30 somethings were sporting them and looked cute in the process. To many people it made older women just seem desperate, chasing the next youth serum.
I was never outwardly mean, but I definitely thought it. Heck, I wasn't that nice about it when thinking about anyone who wore them on a regular basis. I mean, at least practice yoga. Stop trying to fake it.
That was the judgmental side of me coming out and it wasn't very pretty. Do I still think it's weird when people live in their yoga clothes and don't practice yoga? Why yes I do, but I no longer judge. What do I care what they are wearing?
Now the new craze is not yoga gear. It's leggings. Same concept, BUT way more fun. So in the last year, LulaRoe (LLR) has exploded. They went from a few thousand Independent Consultants (IC) to more than 100K. They are known for their extraordinarily soft leggings and crazy patterns. They also have dresses, skirts, and shirts. The shirts in their various forms all cover the "assets".
I stayed away from it all because I've always been terrified of too many colors and the few times I had tried leggings I hated them. They weirded me out. So this year I finally gave in and gave it a shot. My sister's friend gave me a pair for free with my purchase. I now own several pairs. I have fallen victim to the "holey controversy". Three of my 15 pairs have holes and are no longer usable. I'm annoyed and won't buy anymore but that's a story for another day.
The point is, I tried something new and scary even though I judged and judged harshly. I find that as a mom who just wants to raise her kids, I don't judge nearly as much.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Friday, October 14, 2016
Planes and Babies
So I planned a visit to my sister in California. I was a little worried because I wasn't sure how I was going to travel to the opposite side of the country... literally across the country (RI to CA!!) with a 6 week old and a 2.5 year old. It was quite the experience.
So let me start with booking the ticket. My husband booked our tickets and we had it all set. Unfortunately we had a family emergency that had us booking an earlier flight at 10pm at night. We thought we were all set until the next day he called back to confirm that our infant was listed in the information. As it turns out, they never confirmed the ticket! I would NOT have been happy if I showed up for my flight and we didn't have a confirmed seat on a very full plane.
That should have told me how this flight was going to go. Now I had everything all planned out. I had my stroller. I planned to use the bassinet in the airport, use the toddler carseat on the plane and check the infant car seat. This would allow me to check the infant car seat and check the stroller and bassinet at the gate.
As we are getting our tickets they decide to tell me that they will not allow me to take my stroller with me. Only collapsible 20 pound strollers allowed. I questioned this policy as i had just flown with them in May. The 2 ladies told me that it was a new policy. I was absolutely livid. How did they expect me to travel through my connection with 2 babies and a 50 pound carseat?? They didn't care at all. My husband is a very frequent flyer with them and he was so upset he has decided to use other airlines.
I posted about it on a popular stroller site just to find out that this was in fact a stated policy on their website for the last several years. The problem is that they choose when to enforce the policy. Many of the women expressed their displeasure with this airline because in one airport they will enforce it but on the return flight they don't. It is all based on the airport. There is no consistency and obviously no care for families. They used to allow families to board first but that has since gone away as well.
Anyway, I get to the connection airport where the flight attendants and gate agents have never heard of this policy. One woman helped me get the heavy carseat to the gate where I took over and found a luggage cart I could rent for $5 for the 2 hours I was there. I wouldn't have had to spend the money if I'd had my stroller but it was worth it since I had my infant in my shirt like carrier (Nestingdays.com) and my toddler on my back in my Ergo carrier.
I don't normally travel with a car seat on the plane but it was probably the best thing I could have done. Once I was able to get on the plane I got the seat and kid buckled in and we were ready to rock. It was a decent flight with her unable to get out other seat. I doubt I'll fly without it again.
The second plane I got on in Philly I met 2 amazing flight attendants who made sure my toddler and I were sitting next to each other. They helped me get settled into our seats and when we landed they allowed me to stay put until we took off again. It was a good flight. The people around me were nice about my infant crying. The gentleman who sat next to me was pleasant. It's always a relief.
When we took off a third time I sat next to this wonderful lady. I never got her name but she was my kind of people. A Physical Therapist getting married at a bed and breakfast to a HS teacher under the summer solstice on a Wednesday next June. She played with my babies and talked to them and was just the sweetest person. I can only wish her the happiest blessings on her career and marriage.
When we landed the same two attendants were beyond wonderful. They helped me bring my carseat down to baggage claim where I met my sister. They were pleasant the whole time, they talked to us and helped me, a person traveling alone with two small children.
Despite the rough start it was not that bad of a trip. Now hopefully the return will be better...
So let me start with booking the ticket. My husband booked our tickets and we had it all set. Unfortunately we had a family emergency that had us booking an earlier flight at 10pm at night. We thought we were all set until the next day he called back to confirm that our infant was listed in the information. As it turns out, they never confirmed the ticket! I would NOT have been happy if I showed up for my flight and we didn't have a confirmed seat on a very full plane.
That should have told me how this flight was going to go. Now I had everything all planned out. I had my stroller. I planned to use the bassinet in the airport, use the toddler carseat on the plane and check the infant car seat. This would allow me to check the infant car seat and check the stroller and bassinet at the gate.
As we are getting our tickets they decide to tell me that they will not allow me to take my stroller with me. Only collapsible 20 pound strollers allowed. I questioned this policy as i had just flown with them in May. The 2 ladies told me that it was a new policy. I was absolutely livid. How did they expect me to travel through my connection with 2 babies and a 50 pound carseat?? They didn't care at all. My husband is a very frequent flyer with them and he was so upset he has decided to use other airlines.
I posted about it on a popular stroller site just to find out that this was in fact a stated policy on their website for the last several years. The problem is that they choose when to enforce the policy. Many of the women expressed their displeasure with this airline because in one airport they will enforce it but on the return flight they don't. It is all based on the airport. There is no consistency and obviously no care for families. They used to allow families to board first but that has since gone away as well.
Anyway, I get to the connection airport where the flight attendants and gate agents have never heard of this policy. One woman helped me get the heavy carseat to the gate where I took over and found a luggage cart I could rent for $5 for the 2 hours I was there. I wouldn't have had to spend the money if I'd had my stroller but it was worth it since I had my infant in my shirt like carrier (Nestingdays.com) and my toddler on my back in my Ergo carrier.
I don't normally travel with a car seat on the plane but it was probably the best thing I could have done. Once I was able to get on the plane I got the seat and kid buckled in and we were ready to rock. It was a decent flight with her unable to get out other seat. I doubt I'll fly without it again.
The second plane I got on in Philly I met 2 amazing flight attendants who made sure my toddler and I were sitting next to each other. They helped me get settled into our seats and when we landed they allowed me to stay put until we took off again. It was a good flight. The people around me were nice about my infant crying. The gentleman who sat next to me was pleasant. It's always a relief.
When we took off a third time I sat next to this wonderful lady. I never got her name but she was my kind of people. A Physical Therapist getting married at a bed and breakfast to a HS teacher under the summer solstice on a Wednesday next June. She played with my babies and talked to them and was just the sweetest person. I can only wish her the happiest blessings on her career and marriage.
When we landed the same two attendants were beyond wonderful. They helped me bring my carseat down to baggage claim where I met my sister. They were pleasant the whole time, they talked to us and helped me, a person traveling alone with two small children.
Despite the rough start it was not that bad of a trip. Now hopefully the return will be better...
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Home Party Businesses
I recently saw a post from a mom blogger about how much she hates the invites to home parties and then feels as if they try to guilt her if she doesn't buy anything. I have to admit that I was really annoyed by this. In a world where pre-school is now more expensive than college per year, daycare takes most of our paychecks and we are forced to decide whether or not we go back to work.
For many families having one partner stay home makes more sense than both working and spending so much money on daycare and pre-school. That doesn't mean being full time Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. Several family members are stay at home moms (SAHM) and their schedule makes me dizzy, but some people thrive on working a job.
So how do you do what is best for your family and still get the satisfaction of working? You join a home party business. You become a consultant for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Athena's Home Novelties, or a million other ones that are out there. In my case I chose Melaleuca. I don't sell products just enroll memberships.
Yes sometimes being added to groups without your permission can be annoying and you'll have that one friend who adds you to everything. You have to be straightforward with that friend. You have to tell them (nicely) that you would prefer to be asked rather than just randomly added.
Support these Mamas (and Papas). Support them in trying to make a living selling decent products. It is NOT easy to reach out to friends and family and ask them to at least listen to your "pitch". Even if you aren't interested you can still pass on their info. You never know who might be interested.
So instead of being angry and rolling your eyes just check it out. I did. I avoided Jamberry for a long time and then I sucked in by the promise of a baby free night. Now I love them and I'm glad I gave it a chance. You might be too.
For many families having one partner stay home makes more sense than both working and spending so much money on daycare and pre-school. That doesn't mean being full time Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. Several family members are stay at home moms (SAHM) and their schedule makes me dizzy, but some people thrive on working a job.
So how do you do what is best for your family and still get the satisfaction of working? You join a home party business. You become a consultant for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Athena's Home Novelties, or a million other ones that are out there. In my case I chose Melaleuca. I don't sell products just enroll memberships.
Yes sometimes being added to groups without your permission can be annoying and you'll have that one friend who adds you to everything. You have to be straightforward with that friend. You have to tell them (nicely) that you would prefer to be asked rather than just randomly added.
Support these Mamas (and Papas). Support them in trying to make a living selling decent products. It is NOT easy to reach out to friends and family and ask them to at least listen to your "pitch". Even if you aren't interested you can still pass on their info. You never know who might be interested.
So instead of being angry and rolling your eyes just check it out. I did. I avoided Jamberry for a long time and then I sucked in by the promise of a baby free night. Now I love them and I'm glad I gave it a chance. You might be too.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
and the Days Roll On...
I went out on maternity leave a week before my due date just to have my newest girl arrive 12 days late. She is now 5 weeks old and my days roll into each. Time gets away from me and before I know it the day is done.
Anyone feel like that? Where the heck did my day go? It's amazing how fast your days go by when you aren't doing anything except keeping little humans alive...
Anyone feel like that? Where the heck did my day go? It's amazing how fast your days go by when you aren't doing anything except keeping little humans alive...
Thursday, September 22, 2016
My Birth Story is Not Your Birth Story
Every person, every pregnancy and every baby is so very different. Comparing people to each other or to your self is not productive. I know. I know. You've probably heard "You're so (small, big). I was ______. It's annoying isn't it? Especially if you are 5'2 and the person saying this to you is 6'2 or vice versa.
When I was pregnant with my first I gained 32 pounds and people constantly told me I was really small and was I sure everything was ok. At least until the last month when I gained a lot of water weight. With my second I was all belly, but by the time I reached 6 months people kept making comments like "You're so big. You'll be as big as a house by the time you're ready to go." and "Don't have it here!". I gained about 50 pounds this time. I had stretch marks that I didn't have the first time. I had different pains, cravings etc.
My point is that I'm just one person and my two pregnancies were totally different.
I lost count trying to figure out how many of my friends who were due this year alone. I think I stopped at 33 people. Some are first time moms, some are second time around like me and others are on their 3rd, 4th, or 5th child. Each one of these women is built different. their bodies, their health, their structure. Get it? Totally different. Some have singles and some have twins. Some are in their early 20's and some are mid 40's.
With all these differences how can someone believe they can actually compare two women together when you can't even compare pregnancies in a single person!
Now that we have that out of the way...
I have two children and I've had two types of deliveries. My first was a belly birth. She was a scheduled c-section due to being breech and growth restricted. My baby was a peanut. We actually chose her birth day. She was born in a half an hour from when we got started. An hour max from when they brought me to the OR.
My second baby (who will be one month this Saturday!) was an un-medicated vaginal birth.with no interventions (unless you count an attempted membrane sweep. What do I mean? Please see the post on my birth story.). Full active labor and pushing was 6.5 hours.
Even my recoveries with both were vastly different.
There are so many ways to have the birth that you want or that is best for you. You know what they say about best laid plans...
Listen, plan your perfect scenario. Plan how you imagine it going. I don't care how crazy it is Imagine what you want even if it is hanging upside down on a trapeze. Lay it all out. How much if any interventions do you want (pain killers, nitrous, episiotomy, etc)? Do you want a home birth, hospital, birthing center? What is available in your area?
All these things affect how your labor and birth will go. The resources I had, and continued to pursue allowed me to have a positive birth experience with both of my girls. The first didn't go as planned but because of the amazing care I received (after I switched to a new provider at 36 weeks!) I was happy in the end. You need to do the same. Lay out your plans and then write down the things that can change it. If you are prepared that it might change and not be your perfect scenario then you continue to hold the power to the best birth possible. You cannot be disappointed or feel that you failed in how things go if you are already accepting that things can change.
Don't listen to others who are eager to share the gruesome details of their own. Don't let anyone scare you. Being scared will not serve you in any way shape or form. Don't compare your pregnancy to someone else.
You are your own beautiful person. Be the best you can and bring that wonderful little human into the world in the best way for YOU without the chatter of others.
When I was pregnant with my first I gained 32 pounds and people constantly told me I was really small and was I sure everything was ok. At least until the last month when I gained a lot of water weight. With my second I was all belly, but by the time I reached 6 months people kept making comments like "You're so big. You'll be as big as a house by the time you're ready to go." and "Don't have it here!". I gained about 50 pounds this time. I had stretch marks that I didn't have the first time. I had different pains, cravings etc.
My point is that I'm just one person and my two pregnancies were totally different.
I lost count trying to figure out how many of my friends who were due this year alone. I think I stopped at 33 people. Some are first time moms, some are second time around like me and others are on their 3rd, 4th, or 5th child. Each one of these women is built different. their bodies, their health, their structure. Get it? Totally different. Some have singles and some have twins. Some are in their early 20's and some are mid 40's.
With all these differences how can someone believe they can actually compare two women together when you can't even compare pregnancies in a single person!
Now that we have that out of the way...
I have two children and I've had two types of deliveries. My first was a belly birth. She was a scheduled c-section due to being breech and growth restricted. My baby was a peanut. We actually chose her birth day. She was born in a half an hour from when we got started. An hour max from when they brought me to the OR.
My second baby (who will be one month this Saturday!) was an un-medicated vaginal birth.with no interventions (unless you count an attempted membrane sweep. What do I mean? Please see the post on my birth story.). Full active labor and pushing was 6.5 hours.
Even my recoveries with both were vastly different.
There are so many ways to have the birth that you want or that is best for you. You know what they say about best laid plans...
Listen, plan your perfect scenario. Plan how you imagine it going. I don't care how crazy it is Imagine what you want even if it is hanging upside down on a trapeze. Lay it all out. How much if any interventions do you want (pain killers, nitrous, episiotomy, etc)? Do you want a home birth, hospital, birthing center? What is available in your area?
All these things affect how your labor and birth will go. The resources I had, and continued to pursue allowed me to have a positive birth experience with both of my girls. The first didn't go as planned but because of the amazing care I received (after I switched to a new provider at 36 weeks!) I was happy in the end. You need to do the same. Lay out your plans and then write down the things that can change it. If you are prepared that it might change and not be your perfect scenario then you continue to hold the power to the best birth possible. You cannot be disappointed or feel that you failed in how things go if you are already accepting that things can change.
Don't listen to others who are eager to share the gruesome details of their own. Don't let anyone scare you. Being scared will not serve you in any way shape or form. Don't compare your pregnancy to someone else.
You are your own beautiful person. Be the best you can and bring that wonderful little human into the world in the best way for YOU without the chatter of others.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Why I Chose a Doula
Whenever I mention that I chose to have a doula for my birth, I get asked what it is. According to DONA International "The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and information support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period".
The basic definition is that a doula is a birth coach. They help the mom understand her what her options and choices are concerning her care and her birth experience. Sadly in the US we still have medical care providers that believe they have total control over our bodies and the babies we carry within them.
Being one of the last of my friends and family to have a baby I thought I knew quite a bit, but after hiring my doula Merav she showed me a whole new world. I had no idea there was so much involved. The sheet she handed me with procedures listed that I may or may not want to have done. Seriously, the sheet was covered front and back. I was shocked. I knew I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. Yeah that didn't work out. I ended up with a c-section or as I like to call it, a belly birth.
Merav called me one day and told me that she got accepted to nursing school (yay her!) and that she could continue to be my doula with a backup or she could just recommend someone else. I chose to stick with her and meet her backup Lisa (who is now going to school to become a midwife!). I was in touch with both of them equally and when I found out the date of my c-section it turned out that I would have Lisa with me. Did I really need her in the surgery room? Probably not, but I'm still glad she was there. It was her voice I remember through the haze of the anesthesia. It wasn't supposed to knock me out, but I take a little to well to it so I was pretty hazy through most of the surgery. My husband was there and I just remember the 2 of them saying supporting things and telling me what was going on. It was my husband who told me we had a girl.
We developed a relationship with Lisa. We worked together when we tried to save the Birthing Center in the hospital I had my first daughter in. She was the one I contacted when I got pregnant with my second. Merav was and still is amazing, but Lisa and I just seemed to click. She became a friend. She did my maternity pictures, she was there throughout my VBAC with my second daughter and she did her newborn pictures.
Sometimes your doula becomes more than just the woman (or man) who helps your husband not stand there like a deer in headlights or updates family members or even keeps unwanted family members out of the room (sometimes mom, step-mom or MIL want to be in the room and laboring mom doesn't want anyone but doc and partner). Sometimes they become a friend.
They can hep you through unknown territory and ease your experience, and mind. There is no place for stress during labor!
Contact your local doula association today. In RI we have Doulas of Rhode Island. Get the info and decide for yourself if you want the extra support!
The basic definition is that a doula is a birth coach. They help the mom understand her what her options and choices are concerning her care and her birth experience. Sadly in the US we still have medical care providers that believe they have total control over our bodies and the babies we carry within them.
Being one of the last of my friends and family to have a baby I thought I knew quite a bit, but after hiring my doula Merav she showed me a whole new world. I had no idea there was so much involved. The sheet she handed me with procedures listed that I may or may not want to have done. Seriously, the sheet was covered front and back. I was shocked. I knew I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible. Yeah that didn't work out. I ended up with a c-section or as I like to call it, a belly birth.
Merav called me one day and told me that she got accepted to nursing school (yay her!) and that she could continue to be my doula with a backup or she could just recommend someone else. I chose to stick with her and meet her backup Lisa (who is now going to school to become a midwife!). I was in touch with both of them equally and when I found out the date of my c-section it turned out that I would have Lisa with me. Did I really need her in the surgery room? Probably not, but I'm still glad she was there. It was her voice I remember through the haze of the anesthesia. It wasn't supposed to knock me out, but I take a little to well to it so I was pretty hazy through most of the surgery. My husband was there and I just remember the 2 of them saying supporting things and telling me what was going on. It was my husband who told me we had a girl.
We developed a relationship with Lisa. We worked together when we tried to save the Birthing Center in the hospital I had my first daughter in. She was the one I contacted when I got pregnant with my second. Merav was and still is amazing, but Lisa and I just seemed to click. She became a friend. She did my maternity pictures, she was there throughout my VBAC with my second daughter and she did her newborn pictures.
Sometimes your doula becomes more than just the woman (or man) who helps your husband not stand there like a deer in headlights or updates family members or even keeps unwanted family members out of the room (sometimes mom, step-mom or MIL want to be in the room and laboring mom doesn't want anyone but doc and partner). Sometimes they become a friend.
They can hep you through unknown territory and ease your experience, and mind. There is no place for stress during labor!
Contact your local doula association today. In RI we have Doulas of Rhode Island. Get the info and decide for yourself if you want the extra support!
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Placenta Pills
It sounds weird right? Placenta encapsulation. It seems fairly straightforward but people are either hesitant to ask or they flat out ask WTF is that?!
So most people know that when you have a baby there is also the placenta. The placenta is full of all kinds of goodness. It replaces a lot that your body loses... such as hormones. According to BellyBelly the practice of ingesting the placenta goes back 1500 years!
"I will bet those who joke about it don’t even realise that placentas have been used in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) as long ago as in the 1500s, which is longer than modern medicine has even existed. It’s been continued to be used due to an abundance of great properties believed to make a huge difference to a new mother’s mental health, recovery and well being. - See more at: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/placenta-encapsulation/"
I know many women who chose to take them because it replaces the hormones you instantly lost when you had the baby. You think you're emotions are out of whack when preggo? Try re-balancing after Baby is born. I had them for my first and I knew that I wanted them this time around.
I lost a lot of blood. Enough that my blood count and behavior was watched but not enough to consider a transfusion. When I left the hospital I was 4 prescriptions. Ibuprofen, Tylenol with codeine (which I still haven't taken), stool softener, and iron pills. I also had my placenta pills. I take all but the Tylenol twice a day. Having the placenta pills has helped.
Keep in mind that every placenta is different. With my first I got 78 pills. With my second I got 176. It just depends on the baby.
Now Shelley, the woman who made mine after both pregnancies, has become a midwife!
I'm so proud to know that the supportive women in my life are choosing to take the next step in women's care and giving us so many beautiful options.
If you have more questions I suggest you find your local person and ask them questions. We only have 2 in RI so they fill up quick!
So most people know that when you have a baby there is also the placenta. The placenta is full of all kinds of goodness. It replaces a lot that your body loses... such as hormones. According to BellyBelly the practice of ingesting the placenta goes back 1500 years!
"I will bet those who joke about it don’t even realise that placentas have been used in traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) as long ago as in the 1500s, which is longer than modern medicine has even existed. It’s been continued to be used due to an abundance of great properties believed to make a huge difference to a new mother’s mental health, recovery and well being. - See more at: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/placenta-encapsulation/"
I know many women who chose to take them because it replaces the hormones you instantly lost when you had the baby. You think you're emotions are out of whack when preggo? Try re-balancing after Baby is born. I had them for my first and I knew that I wanted them this time around.
I lost a lot of blood. Enough that my blood count and behavior was watched but not enough to consider a transfusion. When I left the hospital I was 4 prescriptions. Ibuprofen, Tylenol with codeine (which I still haven't taken), stool softener, and iron pills. I also had my placenta pills. I take all but the Tylenol twice a day. Having the placenta pills has helped.
Keep in mind that every placenta is different. With my first I got 78 pills. With my second I got 176. It just depends on the baby.
Now Shelley, the woman who made mine after both pregnancies, has become a midwife!
I'm so proud to know that the supportive women in my life are choosing to take the next step in women's care and giving us so many beautiful options.
If you have more questions I suggest you find your local person and ask them questions. We only have 2 in RI so they fill up quick!
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