The "Yell Parent"

So I'm a "yell parent". I didn't mean to be. I didn't want to be. Unfortunately, I slid into it. Arguing

with my 4-year-old. Angry that she wasn't doing what she was told. Forgetting that she's just 4 and

figuring things out. She's my oldest and of course, that means I think she's the smartest kid ever and

can't understand why she doesn't get certain things. That is on me. She's still a baby, not a teen or an

adult. I have to work on my own crap so that I can help her navigate through childhood while still

having fun.

It broke my heart to hear her say "That's ok, yelling is just what grownups do". I was horrified that

my daughter thinks that it is normal for grownups to yell at kids all the time. I knew immediately that

I had to do something. I want my daughter to grow up a strong confident woman. How can she do

that if I undercut her confidence by constantly yelling at her? So I decided to do something about it. I

purchased the book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr.

Laura Markham.

I know a lot of people think that kids need to just listen and deal with it, but I find that I have a 

sensitive little girl who really wants to please and wants to know we approve of her. When I talk to

her gently and explain things and not yell it helps. I started using some of the techniques in the book

and I've noticed a huge difference in our interactions. I love it. She listens more, she understands

more and is wanting to do more.

Today we had such an amazing day. My daughter was laughing and smiling the entire time. Not once

did I see that look of apprehension and/or sadness on her face? Yelling doesn't accomplish anything,

but putting in the work for my kids is. I know we will have our challenges in the future but for now,

we are working together to have a better connection.




Now if you will excuse me I need to go give my babies lots of hugs.

What do I want in my life

What do I want in my life with my marriage, my kids, my work/business life, my body/health, and my spirituality

My life is busy. I"m married with 2 kids, a full-time job. I'm 30 pounds overweight and do not attend church like I'd like to (I work weekends, and worship is only one day a week...yay recordings!). 

In my marriage, I want to find more we can do together. Our life has shifted in the last four years since we had our first daughter. Life is not about work and going out anymore. Life is about how things work with a family. Our interests shift because of it so we need to adjust the things we enjoy together as a family and as a couple. 

I want to be a better mom. One who is more patient and doesn't yell. I admit it, I'm a yell mom. I try not to, but the third and 4th time I have to ask I end up yelling. I do not like it and am working to change it. I want my girls to grow up strong, confident women. Sometimes it can be a challenge to balance wanting them to have the freedom to explore and wanting them to just not annoy me with basic kid things lol.

I currently hate my job. It wasn't always that way. I've also realized that I am treading water. I like to learn new things. I like to change what I'm doing and continue to get better. Unfortunately, there is nowhere to go. No promotions to be had as we have too many people in leadership positions. Due to this, I am finally focusing on the things I want to do but was so scared to truly pursue. I recently received my certification as a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC) and pursuing the next level, which is IBCLC (board certified lactation consultant). I've also passed my test and am currently applying for my license to practice massage therapy. My goal is to work with all patients, but really focus on prenatal, infants and nursing moms. I'm so excited to pursue these goals.

I seriously need to get back in shape. I do not take the time for me to exercise properly. I eat decently, but not properly. I need a diet that allows me to use my A.D.D. rather than have it work against me. I can utilize it to help me rather than creating chaos in my life. My goal for this year is to have the right diet plan and get into an active exercise routine. I felt better at the pre-baby weight and that is my goal.

I finally found a church that I like a couple of years ago. I'm Presbyterian, and there are not many of those in Rhode Island. Lucky for me, I found one right down the street. It does not take long to get there. The unfortunate thing is that I work weekends and unlike other denominations we only have worship once a week. They do record each Sunday so I am able to listen to the sermons and possibly participate in other events throughout the week or month. Once my schedule changes after I leave my current job, I'll be able to attend more regularly. While I'm working on this I do stay in regular contact with my Pastor, who also happens to be a fellow breastfeeding Mom. Gotta love it!

So what is the answer to this question for YOU? 

*The question was taken from the podcast of Dr. Karen Osburn, creator of Women Wanting More

www.drkarenosburn.com

I highly recommend checking out her FaceBook page Women Wanting More, and the podcast if you even have a single thought of wanting more in your life.

Long Absence

It's been awhile since I've posted. I could give excuses and explanations but basically I was too lazy to remember. Here's hoping 2018 will be better!

So, now 2018 is about to start. I have to young spirited kids, a job I'm totally over, and new opportunities for the year.

My Saoirse-girl is 16 months and quite the spitfire. She lets you know when she isn't happy and will so her best to get what she wants. She's absolutely friggin adorable. It's a good thing too because sometimes her sister wants to give her back lol

Good thing they love each other! Through the year I'll tell you about their antics, my new journey, new products and recipes we try. See you soon!

~C

The Great Leggings Debate

So a few months ago Rhode Island had the Leggings Debacle. An older gay man (yes it was important to the story at the time to note his sexual orientation) wrote a letter to the editor talking about how women over college age should definitely not be wearing leggings outside the house...ever. You can imagine how well that went down. I mean, in today's world women, most notably, stay at home moms, throw on whatever is comfortable and doesn't look like pajamas. The leggings craze was then born.

So over the last several years the unofficial symbol of the mom who just needed to get out of the house have been sporting yoga gear. They are easy to spot. Yoga pants/leggings, t-shirt, sneakers and a baseball cap typically with the hair in a pony tail. It was everywhere. It didn't matter if you were a SAHM, working mom on your day off, just running an errand, meeting a friend, the list can go on. It became such a craze that it became the focus of memes, poking fun and straight up nasty commentary.

I was one of the haters. I had to wonder if women over 40 who didn't actually practice yoga were just trying to look younger since all the 20 and 30 somethings were sporting them and looked cute in the process. To many people it made older women just seem desperate, chasing the next youth serum.

I was never outwardly mean, but I definitely thought it. Heck, I wasn't that nice about it when thinking about anyone who wore them on a regular basis. I mean, at least practice yoga. Stop trying to fake it.

That was the judgmental side of me coming out and it wasn't very pretty. Do I still think it's weird when people live in their yoga clothes and don't practice yoga? Why yes I do, but I no longer judge. What do I care what they are wearing?

Now the new craze is not yoga gear. It's leggings. Same concept, BUT way more fun. So in the last year, LulaRoe (LLR) has exploded. They went from a few thousand Independent Consultants (IC) to more than 100K. They are known for their extraordinarily soft leggings and crazy patterns. They also have dresses, skirts, and shirts. The shirts in their various forms all cover the "assets".

I stayed away from it all because I've always been terrified of too many colors and the few times I had tried leggings I hated them. They weirded me out. So this year I finally gave in and gave it a shot. My sister's friend gave me a pair for free with my purchase. I now own several pairs. I have fallen victim to the "holey controversy". Three of my 15 pairs have holes and are no longer usable. I'm annoyed and won't buy anymore but that's a story for another day.

The point is, I tried something new and scary even though I judged and judged harshly. I find that as a mom who just wants to raise her kids, I don't judge nearly as much.

Planes and Babies

So I planned a visit to my sister in California. I was a little worried because I wasn't sure how I was going to travel to the opposite side of the country... literally across the country (RI to CA!!) with a 6 week old and a 2.5 year old. It was quite the experience.

So let me start with booking the ticket. My husband booked our tickets and we had it all set. Unfortunately we had a family emergency that had us booking an earlier flight at 10pm at night. We thought we were all set until the next day he called back to confirm that our infant was listed in the information. As it turns out, they never confirmed the ticket! I would NOT have been happy if I showed up for my flight and we didn't have a confirmed seat on a very full plane.

That should have told me how this flight was going to go. Now I had everything all planned out. I had my stroller. I planned to use the bassinet in the airport, use the toddler carseat on the plane and check the infant car seat. This would allow me to check the infant car seat and check the stroller and bassinet at the gate.

As we are getting our tickets they decide to tell me that they will not allow me to take my stroller with me. Only collapsible 20 pound strollers allowed. I questioned this policy as i had just flown with them in May. The 2 ladies told me that it was a new policy. I was absolutely livid. How did they expect me to travel through my connection with 2 babies and a 50 pound carseat?? They didn't care at all. My husband is a very frequent flyer with them and he was so upset he has decided to use other airlines.

I posted about it on a popular stroller site just to find out that this was in fact a stated policy on their website for the last several years. The problem is that they choose when to enforce the policy. Many of the women expressed their displeasure with this airline because in one airport they will enforce it but on the return flight they don't. It is all based on the airport. There is no consistency and obviously no care for families. They used to allow families to board first but that has since gone away as well.

Anyway, I get to the connection airport where the flight attendants and gate agents have never heard of this policy. One woman helped me get the heavy carseat to the gate where I took over and found a luggage cart I could rent for $5 for the 2 hours I was there. I wouldn't have had to spend the money if I'd had my stroller but it was worth it since I had my infant in my shirt like carrier (Nestingdays.com) and my toddler on my back in my Ergo carrier.

I don't normally travel with a car seat on the plane but it was probably the best thing I could have done. Once I was able to get on the plane I got the seat and kid buckled in and we were ready to rock. It was a decent flight with her unable to get out other seat. I doubt I'll fly without it again.

The second plane I got on in Philly I met 2 amazing flight attendants who made sure my toddler and I were sitting next to each other. They helped me get settled into our seats and when we landed they allowed me to stay put until we took off again. It was a good flight. The people around me were nice about my infant crying. The gentleman who sat next to me was pleasant. It's always a relief.

When we took off a third time I sat next to this wonderful lady. I never got her name but she was my kind of people. A Physical Therapist getting married at a bed and breakfast to a HS teacher under the summer solstice on a Wednesday next June. She played with my babies and talked to them and was just the sweetest person. I can only wish her the happiest blessings on her career and marriage.

When we landed the same two attendants were beyond wonderful. They helped me bring my carseat down to baggage claim where I met my sister. They were pleasant the whole time, they talked to us and helped me, a person traveling alone with two small children.

Despite the rough start it was not that bad of a trip. Now hopefully the return will be better...

Home Party Businesses

I recently saw a post from a mom blogger about how much she hates the invites to home parties and then feels as if they try to guilt her if she doesn't buy anything. I have to admit that I was really annoyed by this. In a world where pre-school is now more expensive than college per year, daycare takes most of our paychecks and we are forced to decide whether or not we go back to work.

For many families having one partner stay home makes more sense than both working and spending so much money on daycare and pre-school. That doesn't mean being full time Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. Several family members are stay at home moms (SAHM) and their schedule makes me dizzy, but some people thrive on working a job.

So how do you do what is best for your family and still get the satisfaction of working? You join a home party business. You become a consultant for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Athena's Home Novelties, or a million other ones that are out there. In my case I chose Melaleuca. I don't sell products just enroll memberships.

Yes sometimes being added to groups without your permission can be annoying and you'll have that one friend who adds you to everything. You have to be straightforward with that friend. You have to tell them (nicely) that you would prefer to be asked rather than just randomly added.

Support these Mamas (and Papas). Support them in trying to make a living selling decent products. It is NOT easy to reach out to friends and family and ask them to at least listen to your "pitch". Even if you aren't interested you can still pass on their info. You never know who might be interested.

So instead of being angry and rolling your eyes just check it out. I did. I avoided Jamberry for a long time and then I sucked in by the promise of a baby free night. Now I love them and I'm glad I gave it a chance. You might be too.

and the Days Roll On...

I went out on maternity leave a week before my due date just to have my newest girl arrive 12 days late. She is now 5 weeks old and  my days roll into each. Time gets away from me and before I know it the day is done.

Anyone feel like that? Where the heck did my day go? It's amazing how fast your days go by when you aren't doing anything except keeping little humans alive...